Molly in the City
by LolaGirl14
Summary: Molly Dawes loves Carrie Bradshaw and will always think what would Carrie do in situations she runs into. She's had that 'Big' love and one day he waltzes back into her life...
1. Chapter 1

A great love story is supposed to end with tragedy and tears

Carrie Bradshaw

Molly rolled over in the bed looking at the indent in the pillow next to her, her love story had not ended like Carrie and Aidan with sadness being all consuming, It certainly hadn't ended like Carrie and Big with a wedding. She'd given the ring back well actually she'd thrown it and told him to get the hell out of her flat. Oh there had been tears in fact she hadn't stopped crying for hours and yes it was a tragedy with a wedding in two months. But she realised her tears were more relief than anything there had been only one love that had broken her heart and it wasn't Mike.

When the front door banged shut behind him she'd watched from the window as he got in his car and driven off. After which she'd crawled back into bed feeling battered and bruised after the battle of the last few hours. No one ever said it was easy being in love but no one ever told you how shit it could be when you fell out of love. She'd laid there wondering what Carrie would do falling asleep thinking of cosmopolitans and Manolo Blahniks.

A few hours later she was wandering through Selfridges to the shoe department thinking this is what Carrie would do and this was guaranteed to make her feel better. If in doubt buy shoes, today was going to be a no holds bar type of day anything goes. Having purchased two pairs of very expensive shoes and a new handbag she wandered back down to the ground floor. In need of refreshment she decided against coffee and headed out into the busy London street. Carrie would demand a cosmo so that was what Molly was going to find.

It was sunny and so she walked and she walked losing herself in the bustling city. Turning corner after corner and wandering through the back streets eventually stopping in a street she didn't recognise, stumbling in the sunlight as she crossed over to the small bistro she'd spied. She sat down at a table just inside and reviewed the menu her stomach rumbling as she realised she was not only thirsty but hungry too. Breaking up was thirsty work she turned trying to get someones attention for a drink and thats when she saw him. Standing at the end of the bar in his trademark jeans and blue shirt he looked good. She watched as he threw back his head laughing at something funny said to him.

As if he sensed he was being watched he turned his head glancing around the room his eyes stopping when he locked on hers the shock of seeing her making him do a double take. He said something to the person behind the bar and walked slowly towards her table.

' ** _Of all the gin joints_** _in all the towns in all the_ ** _world_** _, she walks into mine.'_ He was still rubbish at Boggart impressions and she smiled as she listened to him. He looked good, he sounded good she craned her neck to look up at him.

'Hi.' Her voice came out in a croaky whisper and he watched her face as she struggled with her emotions.

'I didn't know you were back you stopped writing, communicating.' She looked down at her hands as he spoke knowing she had behaved badly. He hadn't deserved it one day she would tell him why she looked back up at him and nodded. 'I've been back about a year.'

He held her gaze his eyes narrowing as he studied her face. She felt her breath catch in her throat he could still make her quiver and she was suddenly glad to be sat down. He glanced down at the shopping bags. 'Been shoe shopping?' She laughed and nodded. He knew her so well, so very well she thought as she looked him up and down; She licked her lips unconsciously and he zeroed in on them his eyes darkening as he watched her tongue dart back. He raised his eyes back to her face which was flushed.

'So you want something?' His question open ended his eyes letting her know he wasn't talking about drinks.

'Oh I.' She stopped talking quickly and looked at the menu her hands shaking as she tried to focus up. 'Cosmopolitan and a house salad please.' She glanced up from under her lashes terrified if he saw her eyes he'd know the effect he was having on her. He muttered something and walked away she watched him go those long legs striding confidently away from her. He'd done that before of course and she'd pushed him away letting him go wanting him to go but today there was a feeling in the pit of her stomach and she knew it was not going to disappear. He stopped at the bar handing over her order to the girl behind it. He gave a brief look at her and she tried to hold his gaze but failed miserably and reluctantly she dragged her eyes away from him reaching into her bag for her phone.

 _Jax what time is brunch tomorrow? Got news. xoxo_

She needed to tell Jax about this morning and the break up but she also needed to tell her about him. She threw her phone back in her bag and looked up he was back and he was watching her. She sat up and turned her gaze towards him not dropping it this time two could play at that game.

 _-OG-_

 _Eventually all the pieces fall into place….until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason_

 _Carrie Bradshaw_

 _-OG-_

'Ooooh my bloody head.' He rolled over reaching for her the bed was empty and he opened his eyes looking for her she was gone. He sat up holding his head calling her name, as he did so he noticed her clothes were missing. He swung his legs to the edge of the bed and stood up taking small steps out to the lounge. She was gone he had no idea how to contact her she had not given him her telephone number. He stumbled into the kitchen and headed for the fridge knocking back a bottle of cold water as he let the door close he saw it a - post it note. He peeled it off and held it in front of him stunned turning around to look at the empty flat _it's a joke surely?_ He read it again it was no joke.

 _I'm sorry_

 _I can't_

 _Don't hate me_

'Fuck you Molly' He screwed it up and threw it into the sink. His chest tightened as that all too familiar pain washed over him she'd done it again.

xxxxxxxx

Molly saw Jackie walking towards her building as she turned the corner. She'd hoped to get home before she arrived she'd have to tell her she needed to tell someone and who better than one of your best friends. No judgement just sympathy. 'Jax wait up.' Molly quickened her pace to catch her up and her friend turned hearing her name being called. They hugged quickly and Jackie stepped back taking in Molly's dishevelled appearance and demeanour.

'Hmmmm where is he? What did the two of you get up to last night?' She gave her a dirty look before laughing as they walked into the building. Molly decided to shower and freshen up before sharing her news and so it was 15 minutes before she walked into the sitting room and dropped on the sofa opposite Jackie.

'Jax erm not sure how to tell you but we split up.' She watched her friend digest the news the shock all too evident. 'Huh what do ya mean you split up?'

'It wasn't working we just fell out of love I'm not sure we were ever in love. It was convenience we suited each others lifestyles. Think we realised that this week.' She turned her gaze to the window as Jackie gave a deep sigh. 'Hold on Moll's last week we were out buying you a bloody dress today the weddings off you've split up. Forgive me if I appear confused but what the hell has happened?'

Molly pushed her damp hair over her shoulder and nodded. 'Yeah go figure. But I mean really its for the best an that.' She watched as Jackie continued to stare at her the disbelief not dissipating.

'When did it happen?' Molly raised her eyes back to her friend. 'Argument started Friday night we went to bed but it carried on during the night and he left yesterday morning.' Jackie nodded slowly. 'Okay so where were you last night?' Confusion on her face as she watched Molly's reaction to the question. Molly avoided her friends searching eyes and jumped up. 'I need to get ready give me five minutes don't wanna be late for brunch.' She disappeared quickly into her bedroom pulling a dress from the wardrobe. She stopped when she realised which one she had in her hands. The Reiss dress reminding her of a day in Bath many years ago. She buried her face into it and closed her eyes remembering her happiness at the time she pushed it back into the wardrobe stopping at a nondescript sundress and after some bronzer and mascara she was walking back into the sitting room.

Jackie was leaning on the breakfast bar watching Molly slip on her shoes. 'Oh you've been shoe shopping.' Molly looked up laughing. 'You know me when in doubt go shoe shopping.' Jackie nodded and smiled. 'You live your life as Carrie and its great to have lovely shoes but its also great to have a husband and a home.' Molly picked up her bag and keys walking towards the door. 'Come on oh smug one we cant all have the perfect husband and kids.'

They walked in silence until Molly spoke first. 'So I saw _Stern Face_ yesterday.'

Jackie stopped and pulled Molly back by her arm. 'You didn't where?' She watched as Molly's head dropped and suddenly everything fell into place. 'Molly no way seriously what is wrong with you he broke your heart.' Molly stopped walking and placed a hand over Jackie's the relief at sharing this flooding through her as they stood in the park saying nothing. Jackie began walking and spoke quickly. 'Okay tell me everything before we meet the others.' Molly laughed and linked arms. 'You're not to tell them just us right?' Jackie made a small cross over her heart and nudged her. 'Of course now tell.'

'Right well Mike left I felt relief don't look at me like that. I'm relieved its over it wasn't working and we both knew it. I figured yesterday I would go shoe shopping so I did and then I wandered around town for a while found this little bistro went in and sat down. It's his well his and a friend from the army they ploughed all their savings into it it's cute and so we talked a bit. I left he followed me and well one thing led to another and we ended up at his flat in Soho.'

Jackie was nodding her head as she listened. 'Right so this morning then what happened? I'm presuming you stayed the night?' Molly felt ashamed now at what she'd done knowing it was a cowardly thing to do but she'd panicked when she woke up and saw him the feelings all rushing back and overwhelming her so she'd quietly gathered her things and left.

'I woke up before him got my stuff and left.' Jackie stopped. 'Yeah thats not all though is it? I know when you're holding something back Molly Dawes.'

'Right don't judge me on this I left him a note.'

'A note what sort of a note. Thanks for letting me stay, thanks for the good loving, thanks for what exactly?'

'Hmmm not that sort of a note it was more sorry but no thanks.' Jackie shook her head. 'Noooo Molly why'd you do that poor guy.'

'I know I told you I panicked, I mean its him.'

'Molly I just don't know what to say to you, I feel a little bit sorry for the muppet now.'

'Cheers. Right stop talking there's Kate and Becky.' Molly waved as she saw her friends ahead of them not noticing Jackie's perplexed face trailing behind her.

'So I met this guy and well he wanted to do it on the floor, on the bed, on the kitchen counter.'

'Kate!'

'What I'm just trying to tell you about this guy.'

Becky looked down at her daughter who she'd brought for brunch with the girls. 'Can you not be so direct. Code words please.'

'Oh darling she needs to get used to this don't you think one day she'll meet her friends and talk about sex.'

'Sex.' Five year old Julia repeated Kate's last word and giggled as the shocked gasps of three women reverberated around the table.

'Oh my God this is how it starts. Kate you need to stop.' Becky gave her a pleading look. Kate looked offended as she gazed around the table. 'Fine pick a word.'

Molly spoke quickly pointing to Julia's colouring book and pens. 'Colour you like to colour Kate.' There was laughter around the table as everyone looked down at the book and pens on the table.

Kate pushed a hand through her hair exasperated and responded. 'I cant colour enough, I would colour all day everyday if I had my way, I would use every crayon in my box.' She stopped and smirked at her friends. Molly laughed. 'We get it! You like to colour.'

Kate smiled and sat back in her chair. 'I do indeed.'

Jackie spoke quickly. 'Molly was colouring with _Stern Face_ last night.'

Shocked gasps and cries resounded at the table as Molly leaned across to Jackie. 'Nice secret keeping friend.'

'Sorry I panicked.' Jackie threw her hands in the air as she blushed.

Kate grabbed Molly's hand. 'Tell us everything darling in your own time does he still smell as good, does he still have his hair? I mean I don't care if you cheat on the Mike git but isn't that something you **don't** do?'

'Yes, yes and we split up.' Molly spoke quickly and took a long drink of orange juice. Too much had happened in the last 24 hours. This time yesterday she was just a shopper getting over a breakup. Today she was a slut pure and simple.

'I'm so confused what does this mean are you back together?' Becky's worried face was focused on Molly as she spoke. Molly shook her head. 'But you've definitely split up with Mike?' Molly nodded. 'Right I see.' It was obvious to everyone that Becky did not see nor understand what had happened.

Molly spoke. 'Do you? Thats good because right now I see nothing but a big fat mess. A wedding to cancel, a honeymoon to cancel.'

'Oh leave that to me Moll's I'll sort it all out.' Kate reached for her phone and began tapping.'

'You're cancelling it now?' Molly gave an incredulous look towards Kate. 'No darling I'm just cancelling my wax for tomorrow you just reminded me.'

Molly looked around the table. 'Good to know I've got my uses, cancelling a wedding cancelling a wax so very similar.'

As Kate finished her message she leaned across the table. 'So tell me does _Stern Face_ still like to colour?'

Molly looked up from her food and gave a smug smile. 'I will only say that when he colours he doesn't stay within the lines.'

Kate clapped her hands give a gleeful whoop. 'Okay thats good enough for me now eat because when we're finished I really need to go some of us have a lot more colouring to do today.'

 _-OG-_

 _I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love_

 _Carrie Bradshaw_

-OG-

'Lets see it then.' Tom leaned across the bar snatching the zip lock bag out of Charles hand. 'You put it in a bag? You gonna get CSI on to it or something?'

He shook his head. 'No I just, I don't know. I mean come on who does this?'

'Huh it seems Molly Dawes does this Charles. What were you thinking? I could kick myself not being around yesterday I would never have let you leave with her.'

'We didn't really leave together.' He watched the furrowed brow of his friend at the confusing response he'd given. He carried on. 'She left and I realised she'd left her shopping so I went after her and the next thing I knew we were in the street kissing and I was hailing a cab.'

'So what happens now?'

'Nothing happens I made a mistake I dropped my guard it wont happen again.' Tom re-read the post it. 'You've got to hand it to her breaking up on a post it, thats a new one on me. It beats a text message remember that girl I met last year she dumped me with a text.' Charles looked up his face bleak as he spoke. 'You had shagged her best friend Tom I think it was warranted.' Tom laughed oh yeah. 'I'd forgotten that. Ha you want a beer?' Charles nodded and one was duly placed in front of him he took a long swig and thought about last night. Molly Dawes the love of his life had got away again.

'You know what I'm not accepting that note.'

'Huh?' Tom gave a confused stare.

'If she doesn't want this she can tell me to my face. She cant just walk away again.'

Tom laughed. 'Thats the Charles James I know now where does she live?'

'Don't know.'

'Mobile number?'

'Don't know.'

'Where does she work thats a good starting point.'

'Don't know.' Charles dropped his head into his hands as the realisation of the task ahead dawned on him.

'You don't know much mate.'

'I know she feels the same as me.'

'Which is?'

'I'm not ready to close the door on this whatever it is.'

'That my friend is all we need I'll get the laptop.'

 _-OG-_

 _Sometimes we need to stop analysing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens._

 _Carrie Bradshaw_

 _-OG-_


	2. Chapter 2

**_After a break-up, certain streets, locations, even times of day are off-limits. The city becomes a deserted battlefield, loaded with emotional land-mines. You have to be very careful where you step or you could be blown to pieces. Carrie Bradshaw_**

Charles had his head down he walked quickly through the busy streets London was bustling with tourists; he'd left the bistro after they'd managed to find Molly online it hadn't even been that difficult it had taken all of a second. When Tom had put Molly Dawes in the search engine they'd almost jumped back stunned at the images of her and the websites that had information on her. Molly it turned out was a successful writer and was currently writing a weekly column in The Daily News.

Tom had sat back stunned as he looked at Charles. 'Well whadda'ya know Molly is famous.' A few more minutes and they had all the information he needed. Charles had reached for his jacket and left the bistro shocked at their findings and the ease at which they had located information about her. He pushed his hands into his pockets as he tried to think about what he was going to say when he found her, he wanted to scream at her, shout at her. He'd never felt violent towards a woman before but she made him feel out of control.

He stopped and took a deep breath he couldn't forget last night and how it had felt to hold her again. To fall asleep wrapped around her, to make love to her, to kiss her and be kissed by her, the taste of her skin. His mind drifted back to days in the desert heat when she'd been his medic and he'd detested her, admired her finally falling for her, loving her. He looked up to the sky as he remembered the night it had all begun; he remembered it like it was yesterday…..

xox

 ** _Today I had a thought. What if I… what if I had never met you? Carrie Bradshaw_**

 _xox_

 _'_ _You've got a great voice Boss who knew under that toff voice of yours could sing.' Molly laughed as she jogged alongside Captain James. He walked quickly smiling down at her as she finished speaking. 'I was in the school choir Dawes wasn't everyone?'_

 _'_ _Hmmm not me Boss I didn't really do school spent most of my time writing in the late book and doing detention an that.'_

 _He laughed there was something very endearing about Molly Dawes and despite his best efforts she had begun occupying his thoughts at odd moments of the day some nights he lay awake in his tent unable to sleep, knowing she was sleeping just a few feet away from him. She occupied far too much of his time. He caught himself seeking her out when they were off duty teasing her, talking to her. For some reason she got him and not many people did, she broken down the barrier he normally had up. He stopped walking and looked down at her darkness had fallen over the FOB and whilst he could hear 2 & 3 section still singing there was not a soul around. 'Best get some kip Dawes its been a long day.'_

 _She'd nodded her green eyes focusing on him as a worried look had crossed her face. 'Its been a shit couple of days we had serious contact Sir and Bashira I just cant forget her face as they drove off.'_

 _He turned to face her and took her shoulders in his hands. 'Dawes just focus on doing the job your bloody good at you've had a tough couple of days as the medic; I'm sure Bashira is fine she's safe now. Lets hope tomorrow is a fairly normal day play your cards right and I might let you dip your toes in my paddling pool.' He dropped his hands realising he'd almost begun caressing her bare skin._

 _'_ _Ooh Sir you spoil me.' She giggled as she watched his face in the moonlight if he didn't know better he'd think she was flirting with him. Her eyes had locked on his and she was watching him looking for some sort of reaction to her comment. He heard Kinders call him and the moment was lost he turned walking away from her taking a big gulp of air. He'd not been feeling that great tonight forcing himself to do the singalong with the lads when he really wanted to just hit his pit. Forty five minutes later and with his head swirling he walked out of the ops tent the daily debrief with Bastion completed. The FOB was quiet as he walked towards his tent scanning the area and doing a quick check to make sure everything was as it should be. Noticing a light coming from the med tent he walked towards it pushing open the curtain and stepping inside._

 _He stopped quickly and turned to leave Dawes had showered and was standing there in shorts and a vest top with her damp hair hanging around her shoulders. Her fingers pushing through the damp hair oblivious to him standing there. He found he couldn't move mesmerised by her actions as she hummed the song they'd sung together earlier._

 _He wanted to move, to leave quickly but no matter how hard he tried to get his legs to work they wouldn't do a thing and so he stood open mouthed watching her as she flicked her hair and sung quietly. A giggle escaped her mouth and he felt his breath catch in his throat he must've made a sound as she turned quickly to see who was there._

 _The relief on her face as she saw it was him. 'Bossman you nearly gave me a bleeding Julius Caesar.' She smiled at him and he felt his body relax. 'Dawes I wish I understood half the stuff you came out with.'_

 _'_ _Ha yeah me too Boss you okay you need something from me.' She gazed down the tent at him as he stood there not moving._

 _'_ _Erm, yes I've got a headache needed some painkillers please.' He swore under his breath at the stupid response what was he doing here? He watched as she busied herself getting the meds and water for him. She walked towards him and stopped in front of him. 'Open your hand Boss.'_

 _He stared at her stupefied. 'Huh?'_

 _She looked up at him mystified. 'Open your hand so I can drop the painkillers into it.'_

 _'_ _Oh right yes sorry.' He pulled a hand out of his pocket and uncurled his clenched fist her fingers brushed over his palm as she placed two tablets in the centre. 'Right knock 'em back heres some water.' She stepped back and walked away towards the back of the tent locking the medicine cabinet._

 _As she turned around he was still standing there unable to move watching her. 'You okay Boss?' He nodded and finally got some movement in his legs walking towards her. 'You're up late Dawes? Thought you would've hit your pit by now.'_

 _'_ _Yeah I know I'm knackered but I thought i'd take my chance and have a shower when no one was around they were so bleeding busy singing I had 15 minutes of pure shower peace.' Charles felt his pulse quicken as he thought of her in the shower and unconsciously looked her up and down._

 _'_ _Boss you sure you okay?' She looked at him a worried look across her face. He shook his head then nodded and then stopped. 'I'm fine Dawesy.'_

 _'_ _Dawesy now I know your not right come and sit down.' She pointed to the gurney in the middle of the room. He sat down on the edge. 'I'm fine really.'_

 _'_ _Hmmmm you don't look fine let me just check you over ok.' She pushed her hair back as she reached into her bergen for a small bag opening it and placing it next to him. 'Relax Sir I'm not gonna hurt you just take your temperature an stuff.' He took a deep breath and as he did so he inhaled the scent lingering in the air she obviously used a lemon shower gel and suddenly it was all he could smell he closed his eyes she was in such close proximity to him this was killing him. 'Take your shirt off.' He opened his eyes shocked. 'What?'_

 _'_ _I need to take your blood pressure Boss I can't do that with you wearing this.' She tugged at a long sleeve. He stood up and pulled the sweater over his head dropping heavily back onto the gurney. His breathing was laboured as he watched her pumping the blood pressure machine. She stood watching the gauge as it calculated the reading._

 _'_ _Hmm.' She looked at him. 'Your blood pressure is a bit high its been a stressful day so that could account for it.'_

 _He closed his eyes again his head was starting to swim with the scents around him he couldn't look at her; he tried to zone out as she flitted around him. Her legs were leaning against his as she diligently worked through her checklist and he had a momentary feeling of lucidity during which he felt incredibly proud of the medic she'd become. But, it was gone just as quickly as the lemon scent wafted around him again._

 _'_ _Lemons.' Oh no had he really said that?_

 _'_ _Sorry Boss?' He opened his eyes to find her staring at him. 'I said you smell of lemons.' She gave a soft laugh. 'Yeah its me shower gel can you smell it?' He nodded slowly bitting his lip as his eyes locked with hers how could she not know what effect she was having on him?_

 _'_ _I think we need to get you into bed Sir.' She nodded towards the curtain, he gazed blankly at her his eyes refusing to focus._

 _'_ _Bed what are you suggesting Dawes?' His words came out in a whisper his voice alien to him had he really said that? He heard her soft laugh again but he couldn't focus on anything except her face and her lips as they curled into a smile._

 _She pushed him back towards the gurney. 'Sir, I want you to stay here I'm going to find Kinders and then we are getting you into your tent and you need to go to bed. Do you understand?'_

 _He nodded slowly. 'Am I sick?'_

 _'_ _Yes Boss you have a slight fever so I need to get some help to move you.' She disappeared through the entrance to the med tent appearing seconds later with Kinders and Baz._

 _They stood on either side of him and having put an arm around each shoulder they moved him slowly out of the med tent and towards his. He looked over his shoulder where was she? He didn't need to worry she appeared behind them carrying her bergen. As they arrived into his tent he suddenly remembered where he was and tried to stand up but for some reason his legs wouldn't work and so he had to let Baz and Kinders carry/ drag him to his bed. As they backed out of the tent he watched Kinders and Molly having some sort of discussion. He heard Major Becks name being mentioned and then he was gone._

 _Molly approached him slowly kneeling down beside the bed. 'Right Boss 'erm we need to get you out of these combats why didn't I get the lads to do that?' He pushed her back. 'I can do it he stood slowly and undid the belt on his combats his fingers tried to open the zip but it was impossible. 'You need to do it Dawes I, I can't.' He felt his body sway as Molly appeared in front of him and quickly unzipped them he looked at her face as he sank back onto the bed her cheeks were flushed and she was avoiding looking at him. His boots and combats were removed quickly as was his teeshirt then using her hands she gently pushed him back to lay down he closed his eyes listening to her as she moved quietly around the tent._

 _'_ _I don't think you should be in here Dawes.' He realised her being in tent was probably against army regulations and tried to sit up to emphasis his point._

 _'_ _Sir you are bleeding sick I'm the medic I think it'll be fine, now I need you to just lie still and rest. I'll come back in a while and check on you but now you need to sleep.'_

 _'_ _No don't leave me Dawes I need you.' He reached for her catching her bare arm her skin felt soft as his long fingers wound around her arm. He watched the confusion wash over her face as she looked around she nodded and pulled a chair towards the bed. 'Right i'll stay but you need to sleep Bossman.'_

 _He smiled and closed his eyes. 'Okay Molly you're the boss.'_

 _'_ _Oi thats Dawes to you now sleep.'_

xox

 ** _When a relationship dies do we ever really give up the ghost or are we forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

Where the hell was he? He looked around and realised he had ended up in her road he was actually stood outside her building. Trust her to live fifteen minutes away from him how had they never bumped into each other? He stood there staring up at the windows he had no idea which flat was hers he didn't know what he was going to say to her when he did see her. To be honest he didn't even know if he wanted to see her he just knew that this whatever it was or it had been was not finished. Confusion clouded his brain he loved her, he didn't love her, she was like marmite to him.

He'd walked too long he realised feeling the ache in his leg, even after all this time and the physio he still got days when it played up. He needed to sit down stretch it out he scanned the road looking for somewhere to sit down nothing. He picked up the pace needing to get out of her road when he talked to her he didn't want anything distracting him. He looked up and stopped she was on the other side of the road staring straight at him.

xox

 ** _There was no throw down! It was more like a slow down. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

 _He woke during the night as the fever broke Molly was by his side in seconds her soft words soothing him as she placed a new cooling pack on his forehead. As she'd gone to move away he'd caught her hand and fallen asleep again clutching it. Despite her best efforts to disentangle herself from him it only seemed to make his grip tighter and in the end she'd given up pulling the chair closer and flopping into it._

 _He woke again but this time she didn't wake he lay there watching her face in the soft light from the desk lamp. She'd managed to curl up in his chair and he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. He still had hold of her hand and he entwined his fingers through hers mesmerised as his long fingers meshed with her petite fingers. A jolt of her hand alerted him that she was awake his eyes flicked towards her there was no mistaking the shock on her face but she didn't pull the hand away. The world slowed down as he continued to caress her hand his fingers stroking the soft skin as she locked eyes with him._

 _He couldn't explain to anyone what happened next primal instinct, lust, want but he knew right at that moment nothing else mattered and so he pulled her towards him she moved from the chair sitting on the edge of his bed. He raised his free hand to her face cupping it gently as he brought her face down to his._

 _He brushed his lips softly over hers and felt her pull back slightly the shock perhaps of her boss kissing her but she didn't speak, she didn't say stop, she didn't move far enough away; so he was able to manoeuvre himself into a sitting position. Using his free hand he ran his fingers up her arm and then traced the contours of her collarbone, replacing his fingers with his lips as he pressed soft kisses onto her skin. His lips rose slowly tempering light kisses until they reached her lips and he felt her body sag as he claimed them._

 _The kiss was everything a first kiss should be a real butterflies in the stomach moment as two hearts beat quickly in time together and two people discovered each other. His tongue tangling with hers as their passion soared his hands wove their way through her hair clasping her head as he deepened the kiss. Her body moved closer to him until she was pressed against his bare chest a soft moan escaping her as her body reacted to his._

 _He wanted to touch her, taste her, the lemon scent hovered around them; he was on the edge of losing control a few more seconds and he wouldn't be able to control anything. Something told him to stop but as her fingers moved down his chest he was lost and the moment spiralled._

 _xox_

 ** _Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies. Carrie Bradshaw_**

 _xox_

He brushed his hand across his face trying to clear the Afghan memories and crossed the road. Never taking his eyes off her never breaking eye contact finally standing in front of her.

'We need to talk.'

 _xox_

 ** _It wasn't logic it was love. Carrie Bradshaw_**

 _xox_


	3. Chapter 3

**_As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost._**

 ** _And when that happens I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going….. Carrie Bradshaw_**

'You'd better come up we can't talk out here.' Molly threw him a look as she walked past him there was no way she wanted to let him in but right now there was no way she was going to have any sort of conversation in the street. She let them into the building and headed for the stairs half way up she heard him wince and stopped looking behind her he was leaning against the wall.

'What is it?' Concern in her voice as she spoke. 'It's your leg?' He didn't speak just nodded and she realised he couldn't speak as the pain was searing through him right now. She went into medic mode automatically walking back down the few stairs between them. 'Right lean on me take the weight off it you know the drill Charles don't argue just do it.'

He gave a sigh as he put an arm around her shoulder whilst she put her arms around his waist to support luckily she only lived four flights up it was an old building but a tall one, he wouldn't have made it to the top. Outside her front door he leant against the door frame as she opened the door helping him inside managing to get him onto the sofa. She had his legs up quickly and a cushion under the right leg to support it. 'Your still a bleeding idiot when it comes to this then walking around town like you can do a marathon or something.'

She cast a glance at him as she stood up he'd closed his eyes pain was etched across his face. 'I'll get you some painkillers don't move okay.' She disappeared and he opened his eyes scanning the room. Bookshelves full to bursting of books Austen, Bronte, Gaskell caught his eye he wasn't surprised she'd always been brighter than she gave herself credit for he liked to think he had encouraged the classics in front of him. He'd given her a copy of Pride & Prejudice for a birthday once inscribing something so personal inside that he hoped no one ever borrowed it from her.

Aside from the books there were photos lots of them mostly with the girls and he wasn't surprised to see they were still around they were _soul sisters_ or something. Lots of family photos Belinda and Dave never changed had they had another baby? He squinted hard but lost count so many kids sighing he carried on scanning and stopped at photos of her with a man both of them smiling and he couldn't miss the one with her pointing to a rock on her left hand. She was married or maybe engaged it didn't make sense last night; she wouldn't fool around she didn't fool around. Maybe it was a friends ring but no there were more photos same bloke them hiking, skiing; skiing! He was stunned she hated holidays like that said what was the point of going away for a rest if you were gonna knacker yourself going up and down slopes all day. He smiled thinking back to a holiday in Italy when they had done a lot of nothing she had declared it the best holiday ever.

'Right take these Charles.' She stood watching as he knocked the tablets back taking the glass of water she thrust at him. 'I've got the kettle on do you want tea.' He shook his head. 'Hmmm right i'll try and dig out some coffee then.' She was gone again he continued with his scan of the room. It was cosy high ceilings he recognised the table at the window obliviously now her desk with a laptop and papers sat on it, they'd found it in an auction house in Norfolk when they'd been driving around staying up there one weekend. She'd bid a ridiculous amount for it far more than it was worth but insisting that she would need it one day. He'd struggled to fit it into his parents car even with it being a Range Rover but she pushed him out of the way wiggling and jiggling it until it finally slotted in and they could close the boot.

His nostrils alerted to the smell of coffee and not just any coffee she arrived back with a tray huffing as she placed it on the coffee table close to him. 'You drink Rosabaya now?' His voice was light teasing as he tried to ease the tension in the room. He didn't think he could say any of the things he'd wanted to say the leg pain had knocked the wind out of him and he just needed to rest, get some strength back and get out of there.

'Yeah I trained myself everyone drinks bleeding coffee at my job so I had to do the same. Ive got used to it I still don't think it beats a cuppa but….' She stopped talking as she handed him the cup and picked hers up going across the room to sit in an overstuffed chair. She gazed at him over the top of her cup. 'So you found me then?' He took a slug of coffee it was hot burnt his tongue but he couldn't yelp even though he wanted to. 'Turns out it's not that difficult to find Molly Dawes the writer.' She nodded turning to look at the desk with her laptop. 'I wasn't hiding if you'd looked hard enough you could have found me. Of course you'd have had to be looking so I guess we can assume you weren't.' Her green eyes watched him hoping for a reaction any reaction she was bloody furious he was in her flat, her home and looking right at home as he stretched out on her sofa. 'You got married Molly why would I come looking?'

'Married?' She spluttered as she spoke. 'I'm not married what makes you think that?' He pointed in the direction of the photos and she looked at the shelf of photos. 'Oh right 'erm well I was engaged not married there is not going to be a wedding. I need to take down the photos i'll get round to it.' She held his gaze as he mulled over the information before he spoke again. 'So when did you break up sorry it's not my business I know but.'

'Its fine Charles we broke up sometime yesterday morning then I met you after I decided to go shoe shopping to cheer myself up. So don't worry we didn't do anything wrong last night I am quite single I can assure you.'

Nodding he finished his coffee and placed the cup back on the tray. That was a lot of information to process engagement broken off who was this bloke and it happened yesterday what the fuck? 'So if you were single why did you just fuck off and leave me a _post it_ Molly?' She dropped her head her hair falling over her face. 'I don't know I panicked. I mean its you and well we didn't end on a good note the last time we saw each other.'

'And whose fault is that? I don't recall walking out on you.'

'Listen Charles I know you probably want to have the talk and clear the air but not today this has been a crazy weekend I'm knackered barely slept in two days because huh well you know why last night. But, I just cant do it right now.'

He swung his legs to the floor and stood up. 'You know Molly this is not all about you just once it'd be great if you considered my feelings. Thanks for the coffee I wont hold you up any longer.' His voice sad, low, dejected; he'd walked slowly out of the room into the hallway and she sat there not wanting him to go, but wanting him to go. She was confused him turning up like this was unexpected she'd been walking back from brunch when she'd spotted him leaning down massaging his leg. She'd stood rooted to the spot willing him to look up and see her when he did she'd felt those butterflies in her stomach; his bewitching eyes never leaving her face as he'd slowly walked towards her. He still had feelings for her that was obvious and she, yeah she definitely had them. She put the cup down and jumped up running out to the hallway. He'd gone already she pulled the door open calling his name as she did so. He had stopped on the stairs looking up as she leaned over the balustrade. 'Charles please come back I'm sorry it's not you I'm angry with its me I'm mad at, its all a bloody mess.'

xox

 ** _The universe may not always play fair but at least its got a hell of a sense of humour._**

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

 _'_ _I need to go its nearly 5am the lads will be getting up in an hour or so someone could walk in.' She tried to move but his arms tightened around her waist. 'No five more minutes.'_

 _'_ _Boss seriously we could get into big trouble if I don't get up and get dressed and get out of here.'_

 _'_ _Molly no one is going to walk in uninvited you do realise I'm in charge here and I think you can call me Charles we just spent the last few hours in bed together no need for formalities in here.' She giggled as she leant over the bed trying to find her clothes._

 _'_ _Nice try but I'm still getting up and fine i'll call you Charles but only in this tent now please let me_

 _up.' He'd released her reluctantly she'd been speaking sense she knew it at least one of them was not sick so was a fully functioning soldier. She cast a quick look at him stretched out in the bed well actually he was fully functioning if his performance last night had been anything to go by._

 _'_ _Molly stop checking me out.' She'd laughed again there hadn't been many people in her life who made her laugh and made her feel empowered, and more importantly desirable. But he did he knew what made her tick which was ridiculous when they'd known each other for such a short time but out here in Afghan everything was different._

 _'_ _Right I'm going to the med tent will say I stayed there last night so I'm going now.' She looked down at him lying there with a smug grin on his face. 'So I'm off then.'_

 _He opened his eyes, biting his bottom lip as he looked her up and down. 'This is going to be complicated Molly Dawes.' She nodded not speaking her eyes unable to draw themselves away from his mouth as he spoke quietly. She felt her body heat up as his tongue darted out licking his lips. She raised her eyes to his he didn't want her to go that was obvious, knowing that right now both of them wanted the same thing. 'I need to go.' Her voice no more than a whisper as she spoke. He nodded. 'Yeah you've said that a few times but your still here Molly why is that?'_

 _'_ _I cant go.'_

 _He leaned forward pulling her towards him she fell onto his lap as his hands moved underneath her teeshirt. His mouth finding hers tantalising her lips with his tongue as he coaxed open her mouth his tongue darting in flicking her tongue. She shuddered as a wave of desire cursed through her veins. His fingers were caressing her breasts and her body was acutely aware of everything he was doing to her. She felt completely out of control her body no longer her own ignoring her common sense commands._

 _A shout outside in the FOB brought her back to earth and she stood quickly staggering slightly as she tried to put distance between them. Her hand raised to her mouth as she felt the swollen lips from his kisses she looked back at him he was as stunned as her at how much a kiss had affected him._

 _'_ _Molly.' Her gaze locked on his face desire, hunger evident. 'Go thats an order.' She'd nodded leaving quickly and almost ran to the med tent. She laid down on the bed pulling the sheet over her and closing her eyes reliving the last few hours. Her body was invigorated from him he'd made her feel things she'd no idea she could feel. She turned onto her stomach her face squealing into the pillow. She had no idea what this meant she'd seen the furtive glances he'd given her recently but she'd never imagined it meant something like this could happen. She fell asleep with a smile across her face and didn't even hear Kinders when he looked in an hour later._

 _He stood outside the med tent debating on whether to go in or not. Waking up this morning with Molly in his bed had been a whole different experience for him one that he knew he'd want to repeat but they'd need to wait out. He'd tried to tell himself it was the fever that made him lose control but deep down he knew it had nothing to do with it. He wanted her and it was as simple as that. But the chances of them being court marshalled or even worse if caught was a reality and so he'd need to be Captain James when he saw her not Charles the man who'd made love to her last night. He hadn't seen her since she'd left his tent he hoped she didn't regret it, he hoped that once back in the UK she'd want to see him but standing there he had no idea how it would go._

 _'_ _Ya know Boss if your gonna go in then you should just do it.' He turned quickly she was watching him a bowl of cereal in one hand as she chewed a mouthful of coco pops Her face was teasing nothing remotely romantic about the look she was giving him._

 _'_ _Right, well I was looking for you Dawes.' He was lost for words she was behaving as though nothing had happened was he really that forgettable? She walked past him into the tent he had no option but to follow right now he wanted to run, he had wanted to be in control but this was going to be the opposite. She was sat on the bed at the end of the tent she continued eating watching him over the top of her bowl. He sat on the gurney observing her she seemed oblivious to him focused on eating her coco pops._

 _'_ _Erm we really need to talk about what happened last night Molly.' Her head jerked up as she heard her name and she stopped chewing long enough to throw a glare at him. 'Listen Boss we don't need to talk about it, it was obviously a mistake so lets leave it at that.' He was stunned had she really said that it had been a mistake? He stood up to leave pushing a hand through his hair his frustration evident. She didn't speak just sat there watching him as she finished off her cereal. She put the bowl down and stood up. 'Look Boss it was lovely an that but we, you and me I mean it just wouldn't work in the real world.'_

 _'_ _The real world Molly where the fuck do you think we are? Have you looked outside the compound the Taliban trying to take us out everyday that seems pretty real to me.' His face was furious as he stood in front of her she craned her neck watching him her green eyes darkening as their eyes connected. She went to take a step back but he reached out and caught her wrist ensuring she couldn't move away. His face soften and his voice cracked as he spoke. 'Molly I, last night was special to me it wasn't a mistake I wanted it to happen. I've wanted it to happen for a while you drive me crazy surely you know that.'_

 _She laughed. 'Thanks I think.' Her face told him she felt the same she didn't try to move again. Her voice merely a whisper. 'So what you saying Boss?'_

 _His fingers loosened their grip and began caressing her arm. 'I'm saying we wait out we cannot repeat what happened its against army protocol and they'd have us on the first plane out of here. But, we're out of here in a week and back to Bastion for a month and then decompression.'_

 _'_ _I know all that what you trying to tell me?' Her face was full of hope he could see it. 'Well Molly Dawes what are you doing for Christmas?' She broke into a smile as she stared up at him. His fingers continued their trail up her arm across her shoulder and gently touched her lips tracing the outline. 'So what do you think? Ever been to Bath you know the city?'_

 _She was mesmerised by his fingers watching them as they trailed over her skin her body heating up and reacting to his actions. 'Bath it sounds a bit shit.'_

 _He shook his head and laughed.' No its perfect.'_

 _'_ _I don't do perfect. Don't really suit me.' She stopped speaking and gazed at him her breathing laboured as she struggled to remain in control. His fingers were moving down her other arm lightly skimming the skin as he spoke quietly._

 _'_ _Yes it does. My parents have got an old house there... it's where I grew up.'_

 _She shuddered. 'I don't like those scary houses with the big staircases what people fall down. Like in The Omen, have you seen that?' She couldn't stand any longer her legs were weak with longing for him and she dropped onto the bed beside her. He sat next to her taking her hand in his entwining their fingers as he watched her face. 'That house at Christmas is magical I want you to come meet my family spend time with me; there's a lot about me you don't know.'_

 _'_ _Really boss you not like a bank robber or something?' She gave a nervous giggle they were sat thigh to thigh one move and they'd be in the bed. He turned his head watching her seeing the nervous smile. 'Nothing like that but I have baggage and you need to be aware of that. I have a son he's part of my life and I have an ex wife who unfortunately has to be part of my life.' She sat back on the bed taking in the new information. 'Okay thats a lot to take in; us whatever it is 'erm it wont be easy you know that eh?'_

 _He nodded looking back at her still holding her hand in his. 'I cant predict the future but I'd like to give it a shot if you will and if you want to?' He released her hand standing up quickly. 'I'll let you think about it let me know when you're ready.' He turned quickly and went to leave. 'Charles.' He stopped hearing her call him and turned around she was standing running her hands down her combats as she looked at him. 'We wait out I'll think about Bath it still sounds shit and if your parents live in a house with a big staircase I'm walking straight back out the front door. You're a Dad and I guess it should freak me out but it doesn't if anything it makes me like you more.' She stopped talking looking down at the floor. He went to speak but she raised her hand to stop him. 'I've had a pretty shit life thats why I signed up I wanted something more. I didn't bank on shagging my boss in Afghan but I aint gonna shag you again out here it was a one off.'_

 _'_ _A fantastic one off though.' He spoke quickly to get his words in and smiled as she nodded slowly.' 'Yeah it was pretty fantastic an that. Now I think you should get out of my med tent as I want you to throw me down on the gurney and like I just said it aint gonna happen.'_

 _'_ _Right but before I go Molly I need to do one thing.' He walked past her pulling her along with him as he went to the back of the tent going behind the curtain. He looked down at her smiling as he pulled her close his hands sneaking underneath her teeshirt to touch her bare skin as his head came down claiming her lips. His breath entwining with hers as he kissed her with urgency knowing that at any moment someone could walk in. He needed to feel that connection with her she affected him like no other woman had. His tongue coaxed hers to let him deepen the kiss and he heard her moan as her body relaxed into his. They were on dangerous ground he knew that so he released her quickly stepping back his breath ragged as he watched her trying to focus trying to get some control._

 _'_ _I'd better go.' His voice cracked as he spoke the kiss still playing havoc with his emotions and demeanour. She nodded clutching at a cabinet behind her. Her breath ragged as she tried to speak. 'Good idea.'_

 _xox_

 ** _Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes like now they get you so high._**

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw_**

 _xox_

 _Many thanks as always for the lovely comments and feedback here and on FB._


	4. Chapter 4

**_Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be. Carrie Bradshaw_**

She watched as he slowly climbed back up the stairs walking past her through the open doorway she followed closing the door behind her. His face told her everything she needed to know he still loved her if he didn't he'd have kept walking and walked right out of her life. This was a sign not everyone gets that chance to make it up to your first love, not everyone gets the chance to rediscover the love you had. She was not letting him out of her sight now she needed him to know why she'd walked out this morning why she'd felt he'd pushed her away that fateful day? She realised he needed to hear it from her now there was no point delaying anything She looked in the hall mirror smoothing her hair she looked terrified she needed to try and get some control before she walked back in.

He was standing by the window looking out. 'You shouldn't be standing need to rest that leg.' He gave a nod but didn't move so she went and stood beside him their arms almost touching as they both stared straight ahead. 'Charles I'm messed up I've got the great career, I'm successful what does it mean if you don't have someone to share it with?' He gave a nod towards the photos. 'What you telling me for? You had him.'

She looked over her shoulder shaking her head and spoke quietly. 'He wasn't you.'

xox

 ** _Carrie: I've done the merry go round I've been through the revolving door I feel like I met somebody I can stand still with for a minute and… don't you wanna stand still with me?_**

 ** _Big: You dragged me out to a park at three in the morning to ask me if I wanna stand still with you?_**

 ** _Carrie: Yes._**

xox

 _The FOB was small too small she'd felt claustrophobic delighted to get out of there and back to Bastion. Bastion was huge you could lose yourself there, more importantly you could hide there. She was able to disappear working shifts at the hospital it kept her busy and away from running into him. Each time she saw him it got harder she wanted to go back to the easy familiarity they'd had once. But, everything was different now her body reacted anytime he was close by he knew exactly the effect he had on her and she tried so hard but nothing worked. She walked around in 47 degree heat layered up covering her breasts so no one would see what happened to her body when he spoke to her. It was as though he was enjoying her misery she had no idea if things were happening to his body she couldn't look. She couldn't talk about it with anyone but him and she couldn't talk to him so her misery grew over the days and weeks._

 _She was fine when out on patrol she went into automatic mode nothing could distract her and he behaved the same he never looked at her any differently than he did the rest of the section. No one would have been any the wiser as to what had happened. There were nights when she couldn't sleep and she'd found a spot where she would sit and do some star gazing. She'd no idea anyone knew where she went but he did and he appeared one night as she sat there reading a letter from Bella._

 _'_ _Boss you almost gave me a Julius Caesar.' She'd watched him crawl across the roof towards her sitting down his legs dropping over the edge. He'd handed her a beaker, as she raised an eyebrow he'd given a small laugh. 'Don't worry it's not coffee Dawes I made you tea,' She took the cup and raised it to her mouth taking a sip. 'Ah thats good thanks Boss.'_

 _'_ _I won't always be your boss Molly.' His voice was hushed and husky as he spoke. Despite the darkness she could see his eyes studying her, observing her, waiting for a reaction. 'I know I cant wait.' He'd nudged her shoulder. 'Oi less of that or I'll have you up on a charge.' A smile between them brought silence as they sat still._

 _'_ _What brings you up here?' She turned her face up to the night sky trying to count stars and get her self under control he was too near his thigh touching hers as he sat close to her. 'You do Molly Dawes I don't normally sit on the roof of the tank workshop.' She'd turned to him then he was still watching her his head lowered to maintain eye contact. 'Oh right so you following me Boss.' He sighed and turned away his voice quiet and earnest when he spoke. 'Molly please say my name don't call me boss when we're sitting in the moonlight you are ruining what should be a very romantic moment.'_

 _She shook her head. 'Don't, don't talk like that when we're sitting in the middle of a bleeding war zone. I can't get a calmness in me nut when you're around me its all I can do to sit still now.' His hand reached out covering hers. 'You think I don't feel the same I know you're avoiding me I understand why but Molly I miss you.'_

 _'_ _How can you miss me you hardly know me. You only know the me on tour I might be a real cow.' His fingers caressed hers as she spoke and she knew her body was quivering not because she was cold but because she needed to feel him, needed him to possess her, to own her again. His voice was light when he spoke as though he sensed her inner turmoil. 'You can only see the tip of an iceberg but you know its an iceberg.'_

 _'_ _Huh are you calling me an iceberg? What does that even mean?' She was confused and her face displayed that, she knew he was smiling as he turned his head back towards her giving a quiet chuckle. 'I know more about you Molly Dawes than you give me credit for. I know when you're angry you get dark flecks through those beautiful green eyes, I know when you're sleeping next to me that I'm the happiest man in the world, I know when you are happy and I know when you're sad. I came here tonight because you're sad and I know why. I said we had to wait out I'm trying to be the CO here and its shit it really is but I don't want to ruin your career because you get caught with me. You're part way through a journey it's not about us out here its about finishing the job we came out to do.'_

 _'_ _You know what Charles.' She stopped as he sighed.'Ah she says my name.' Molly smiled and carried on. 'Sometimes you speak a load of shit you know that don't ya. But every now and then you talk some sense its just so bleeding hard this waiting out. I know we only had one night but…..' Her voice drifted off as his fingers cupped her chin turning her face towards his. Their eyes met and held she couldn't move, wasn't sure if she was even breathing and as his face came towards hers the_ ** _wait out_** _theory disappeared; his lips brushed gently over hers before he possessed them the passion between them overflowing as the kiss deepened. The kiss was everything she remembered about him and more. Reluctantly he released her his breath ragged, he pulled back his eyes black like coal watching her in the moonlight. 'I'd better go.' She took a gulp of air and pulled herself up standing to walk across the rooftop he didn't stop her._

 _As she went to hop down from the roof he was beside her helping her down. 'Molly before you go I just want to tell you something.' He pulled her in-between the buildings holding both her hands as he looked down at her. 'You make me very happy Molly Dawes you give me hope that one day life will be good I've not felt like that in a long time.' She felt happy elated that someone like him could say something like that to her and he wanted her in his life it was almost too good to be true. 'I'd better go but, yeah I feel it too.' She made to move away but he held her wrists his thumb drawing circles on her skin. 'How do we get through the next few weeks?' She stood watching him completely distracted by his fingers caressing. 'Hmmmm well I don't think we should meet here again 'erm maybe you can write me a letter.' She giggled and stepped back pulling her wrists free' He laughed softly. 'Maybe I will Molly.' She left quickly not looking back whilst he stood hands in pockets watching her thoughtfully._

 _The next day Molly returned to the female quarters and found an envelope on her bed addressed to her. She was sure she recognised the writing but was blown away by what was contained inside sitting on the edge of her bed she read…._

I'm waiting out…

But in the meantime some poetry

from Robert Burns

My love is like a red, red rose

That's newly sprung in June:

My love is like the melody

That's sweetly played in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,

So deep in love am I :

And I will love thee still, my dear,

Till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,

And the rocks melt wi' the sun :

And I will love thee still, my dear,

While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only love,

And fare thee weel a while !

And I will come again, my love,

Thou' it were ten thousand mile.

 _He'd written her a love letter using an old poem (she didn't know about poetry but this, this was perfect) she'd told him to put it in a letter and so he had. She lay back on her bed closing her eyes clasping the piece of paper to her chest and then opening her eyes again to re-read the words. It was beautiful no one had ever sent her a love letter._

 _xox_

 ** _It's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

'Remember the weekend we got this table?' He ran his fingers lightly over the top feeling the knicks and scratches that had come with it. There was something so comforting about this table as though the life they'd had once had not been wasted, it was filled with memories of happy days and love so much love. She smiled. 'Its probably one of my favourite items I guess its one of those things I would be dragging down the stairs if there was a fire.' He looked down at her his smile soft teasing. 'No disrespect but there is no way you'd drag this anywhere Molly.

'Haaaa yeah okay good point right I don't know about you but I need a drink.' She left the room hurriedly and he turned from the table walking over to the bookshelves. Stunned he reached forward and touched a frame he hadn't noticed it earlier hidden behind another photo it contained the first love letter he'd sent her a poem by Robert Burns he picked it up and read it holding it out as she walked back in. 'You kept this?' She put the bottle and two glasses on the coffee table raising up to look at him, her face assured a twitch of a smile hovering on her lips. 'I kept everything Charles.'

xox

 ** _Love is something we wait for. We imagine our first kiss, our first sex, our first I Love You. We never imagine our first heartbreak. Maybe because its too painful to even imagine. But in a way the pain of love is what truly changes us._**

xox

 _He was sat in his room the heat was unbearable he'd been called for a briefing and knew that tonight he would brief 2 section on a special mission. So much for waiting out at Bastion and then hitting Cyprus, tonight would be the night that would define their mission. He stood and looked again at the map on the wall he knew what needed to be done; he'd been here before preparing for a mission he just wanted to get them all back to Brize in one piece. They were in his charge he was responsible for the safety of the entire platoon. He should sleep but he couldn't so he pulled a book from the shelf and flicked through it he struggled to find something fitting for today. He settled on a poem by Brian L Harvey it was soft and gentle the complete opposite of what they would face tonight._

True love is a scared flame

That burns eternally,

And none can dim its special glow

Or change its destiny!

True love speaks in tender tones

And hears with gentle ear,

True love gives with open heart

And conquers all fear.

True love makes no harsh demands

It neither rules nor binds,

And true love holds with gentle hands

The hearts that it entwines.

 _'_ _Man down, man down'._

 _There is panic, people are screaming she hears Kinders shouting. 'Captain James is down.'_

 _She runs towards him and drops to her knees his injuries are horrific he's bleeding from his stomach and right leg there is blood everywhere. She pulls her gloves from her pocket and calls in. 'One Cat A, urgent med-evac required! MIST out, wait out._

 _'_ _Stay with me alright. You're gonna be alright. Im gonna get you out of here.'_

 _More gunshots are fired she looks around she cant see any Taliban, she cant see if anyone else is hit. There is a sudden mass of firing the ANA are shooting erratically the situation is out of control. She is trying to stem the bleeding but failing miserably she cannot think about anything else but this is a soldier whose injured do not get emotionally involved remain detached focus Molly, focus._

 _She can hear Dangles calling for the med-evac she is wrapping a bandage around his leg. He groans and calls her. 'Molly is anyone else hit?' She shakes her head. 'No , I don't know; don't talk Boss I just need you to stay with me.'_

 _Kinders calls out. 'Molly keep your head down!'_

 _He pulls her down his hands are covered in blood. 'Molly.' His voice is weak the pain is excruciating for him._

 _'_ _Stay with me Boss just stay with me I need you to stay with me do you hear me Charles James don't you fucking die on me not here not today.'_

 _He reaches for her pulling her down to his face. 'I love you Molly never forget that I love you.' The tightness across her chest is indescribable she is the medic she is trying to save his life and she does not think she is going to do it. She cannot respond back if she does she will break down and she cannot do that she needs to stay focused, stay alert and keep him alive._

 _Kinders and Fingers are crawling towards her she hears someone shout to get down and she falls onto her stomach reaching to his leg to finish wrapping the bandage. He is in agony his moans let her know the pain he is in, the blood wont stop she is still packing the wound. Fingers arrives by her side and she grabs his hand pushing gloves towards him pointing to the leg. 'Apply direct pressure.' She ties a bandage tightly around his abdomen. 'Shitting hell stop bleeding will you.'_

 _'_ _Does anyone have eyes on where the hell is he?' Someone is still out there waiting to take more of them down she has finally stemmed the blood loss but its bad really bad she knows it he knows it his eyes are closed the pain etched across his pale skin. Fingers is silent he hasn't moved his hand once despite bullets whizzing past them. She hears a crack and turns seeing the insurgent crawling up the bank. 'Fuck where's my gun.' She cant reach it and looks around spotting the hand gun on his right hip she reaches over and pulls it out she turns in seconds aims and shoots. She drops the gun by his side as she hears Kinders call out._

 _'_ _Jackpot.'_

 _She looks down at him he's lost consciousness the tears come she cannot hold them in any longer Fingers is staring at her but she see's the tears in his eyes too. She hears the whirr of the med chopper arriving and the team onboard are running towards her. She gets her pen out to write on his face what she's done she shouts out what injuries he has and falls back as they whisk him away he's gone and she has no idea if he's gonna make it._

 _She zips up the last body bag and takes a breath she wants to vomit her head is swimming she has no idea what is going on in Bastion if he even made it but she has to do her job she's the medic._

 _'_ _Molly lets go pack up your kit we need to get out of here.' She nods as Kinders walks past her with the ANA Captain she drops onto her knees where he lay and pulls her bergen towards her throwing the unused bandages back inside. She stands up picking up his abandoned bergen and see's the envelope crumpled but with her name on it poking out of a pocket todays love letter he'd obviously brought it with him to give to her its covered in blood stains, she feels a wave of emotion and despair wash over her she pushes it into her bergen she cant read it now. She cant understand what happened. She looks around as she walks back across the bridge it was supposed to be routine they had stayed focused what went wrong?_

 _They are waiting for the chopper to come she cant sit still so walks around Fingers grabs her and pulls her into a hug everyone is traumatised and in shock the Bossman shot, injured. Everyone thinking the worst but not saying it. She shrugs him off she cant break down in front of them they'll know she's sure of it. She goes to her bergen and pulls the envelope out turning away from everyone to read it._

From me to you

If I thought I could sit still next to you everyday for the rest of my life

I'd be content and happy.

I love you.

 _The sobs come huge racking sobs she cant control it cant contain it. Kinder is there in seconds not speaking holding her as she sobs moving her away from the others. 'Molly get it together you did your best I'm sure he'll be okay. She stands there and slowly the tears subside. 'Sorry Corp just the shock an that.' He nods and guides her back to the lads she looks up and hears the whirr of the chopper. Hurry she thinks just hurry let me get to him….._

 _xox_

 ** _Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Carrie Bradshaw_**

 _xox_

 ** _Thanks as always for the lovely comments, feedback both here and on FB. You are the best!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Did I ever really love Big or was I addicted to the pain, the exquisite pain, of wanting someone so unattainable._**

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw_**

Still holding the frame he sat down. 'Put your leg up Charles rest it as much as you can.' He ignored her reaching for the glass of wine and settled back on the sofa. Legs crossed at the ankles like he'd lived there for years totally relaxed whilst she well it felt like she was sitting on broken glass. He took a long drink of the wine and gave a sigh she couldn't see his eyes he had dropped his head slightly but he knew she was watching him judging by the half smile hovering on his lips.

He looked up straight at her. 'So.' She took a breath there they were those eyes that could see into your soul a stray lock of hair had fallen out of place and she had to stop herself from walking over and pushing it back. Someone had once told her he was far too perfect and he must be crap in bed she'd laughed and said nothing how could she tell anyone that it was the complete opposite; the way he'd made her feel with one glance was breathtaking let alone anything else. She glanced at the bedroom, the door was open, he followed her gaze raising an eyebrow as she looked back at him. Her mind replayed last night the familiarity and ease at which they'd fallen into his bed together. She was trying to be cool but she knew her cheeks were flushed and her hand shook as she picked up the glass of wine. He continued to observe her and she wondered did he know what she was thinking right now? As she gazed into his eyes she saw it oh yeah he knew exactly what she was thinking he was thinking the same himself.

She smiled bravely at him. 'So.'

'We can sit here and stare at each other or we can talk Molly your choice I'm easy either way.' She nodded. 'Yep good plan I'm guessing you want me to start?' He didn't speak but continued studying her face she knew he was contemplating, formulating a response she'd almost heard the whirring of his brain. 'Maybe you should start at the beginning I put you on a plane to New York for three months and you never came back.'

'Hmmm okay I did come back Charles I told you I'm back a year but to honest I didn't think you'd want to see me so I didn't tell you I was back. I mean sorry but what was the point you were back with Rebecca I didn't think…' He stopped her putting a hand up and interrupted her quickly. 'Hold on, Rebecca where, sorry how did you reach that conclusion.' Molly raised her head in confusion. 'She came to New York Charles she told me she was pregnant you were back together.'

xox

 ** _In a courtroom, reasonable doubt can get you off for murder. In an engagement, it makes you feel like a bad person. Miranda Hobbs_**

xox

 _The flight had been never ending she hadn't settled and the constant looks at her watch hadn't helped, time had stood still for the last month she'd tried everything to get out of decompression but to no avail. Major Beck had told her very firmly it was non-negtionable and so she had sat on a beach watching the lads playing volleyball and trying to drown each other. They put her quietness down to what had happened on the bridge with the Bossman; she'd never told them anything different but, her heart had been breaking. She'd felt utterly helpless and the information she managed to get was scant and never appeased her concern for him._

 _She'd known he was alive so that was something but as soon as the plane touched down she'd already decided she was going to Birmingham she didn't care about the army she just needed to get to him. The row on the tarmac at Brize with Kinders had drawn glances from everyone but she had been quite determined to go straight to the hospital; she had to see him she was the medic she told him; Captain James had been her responsibility. Kinders had eventually relented and given her 24 hours to get her arse to barracks or else._

 _She'd got a taxi, that day was not the day to be worrying about buses or trains. The cabbie had been all chat and it'd helped keep her mind off what might lie ahead her nerves were shot. He had been kind and funny guessing quickly she'd come back from Afghan. He was inquisitive as to what had occurred and for some reason a complete stranger called Bill got her to tell him what was going on it had been cathartic to talk and he'd listened uttering an expletive every now and then; he'd been in the military he told her seen action in Northern Ireland. Somehow that made it alright to talk he knew, he'd seen it too, he understood. She'd had to get him to stop at a service station she was starving and needed an ATM having no cash to pay him he'd insisted on buying her a burger and a cuppa despite her resistance. As he'd lifted her bergan out of the boot he'd given her a hug. 'He'll be okay Molly I just know it you take care.' She knew a tear had rolled down her cheek and had quickly wiped it away. 'Thanks for listening Bill you've kept me a little bit sane today.' She'd gone to hand over the wad of twenties to pay for the fare but he'd pushed her hand away. 'I don't want it Molly its been an honour to meet you buy yourself something nice out of that for when your bloke is better.' The tears had come quickly and she'd dropped the bergan again to hug him._

 _She'd run through the hospital no idea where to go and stopping as she realised she would have to ask someone she was directed to the information desk and asked for his ward. She took the stairs two at a time drawing strange glances from people she'd felt panicked needed to get to him she was so close. It wasn't a ward it was a room in ICU she'd pushed the door quickly and dropped her bags inside he was sleeping he looked terrible pale, weak, hooked up to monitors. She'd moved hurriedly to his side and picked up his hand leaning down to kiss it gently as she did so she heard him stir and looked up as his eyes opened trying to focus on her. 'Molly are you really here?' Her eyes had brimmed with tears at the sound of his voice she'd wanted to hold him but it was impossible so she gripped the hand. 'I tried to get back sooner but it was impossible and no one would give me any information.' She heard him shhh her. 'Molly I'm on a lot of morphine so I'm not really sure its you is it you? She smiled and with her free hand ruffled his hair. 'Yeah its me Charles.' She perched on the edge of the bed watching him his eyes had flickered open and closed as he adjusted to the morning light. She'd felt his hand tighten around hers as he realised she was there and a tear rolled down his cheek. 'I thought you'd never get here Dawes.' His voice was so weak and she knew it was going to be a long road ahead of them but he was alive and they would get through this together. He fell asleep with his hand gripping hers and a smile on his lips she'd sat on the edge of the bed watching him the relief tangible that she was here at last._

 _During morning rounds she'd stepped out of the room glad to get some fresh air and managed to blag a free shower off the staff sometimes the army uniform came in very handy. A shower did wonders for her she dressed in clean fatigues and popped her hair in a simple bun as she'd walked back into his room a nurse was redressing his leg wound and she stood watching noticing the length of the scar. An incline of his head had encouraged her to move closer to him he reached for her hand. 'You smell of lemons.' She giggled. 'Yeah I took a shower washed my hair an that.'_

 _'_ _Lucky you I've still got afghan grime in my hair its feels awful and it smells.' She reached across and touched it lightly. 'Well let me talk to me new new best mates out there and maybe they'll let me wash it later.' He gave a weak laugh. 'Very_ Out of Africa.' _She looked blankly at him things were more serious than she thought he didn't know he'd been in Afghanistan. 'Its a movie Molly before you go looking for a doctor telling them I've lost the plot.' He squeezed her hand and pulled her towards him. 'Oh right never seen it sounds a bit shit tho.' She'd brought her face towards his brushing her lips gently over his. He had just been about to speak when the door had flown open and a little boy ran up the bed his face had lit up as he looked down. 'Hello Scamp.'_

 _'_ _Mum, Mum they didn't rub it off! They didn't rub it off! Look.' He'd pointed to Charles arm and Molly could see something written in a childs handwriting she hadn't noticed it earlier. A woman followed closely and stopped close to the bed she looked around the room; a slightly bored expression on her face. 'Yes Sam fantastic now be careful Dad's not well remember.' Molly stepped back to observe the woman and smiled the smile wasn't returned instead she'd turned her attention to Charles. 'So how are you?' Her voice held no warmth she demonstrated no concern for him and Molly felt annoyed protective of him and what he'd been through. She was beautiful though and Molly despite her shower felt scruffy this woman who was obviously Rebecca was perfect; her hair smooth nothing out of place, her makeup minimal but enhanced her features, her clothes smart, casual and not a scrap of camouflage in sight._

 _'_ _I'm fine better today I need to introduce you to someone Sam.' He turned his attention away from the woman and focused on his son beside him. 'This is Molly she helped me in Afghanistan I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her.' Molly's face dropped as she remembered that day on the bridge and she stumbled back to lean on the window ledge. 'Yeah sorry about that.' She studied Sam he was the spitting image of Charles the chocolate eyes, the smile. 'You're funny.' Sam pointed at her giggling and Molly had responded by poking her tongue out at him. Charles carried on talking his voice low, weak as he explained.' What I mean is she saved my life. I would have bled out if it weren't for her prompt actions.'_

 _Molly had felt under pressure Rebecca had fixed her glare down onto her and it had been uncomfortable in the extreme. 'I'd better go.' Rebecca spoke. 'Don't go on my account.' Molly had looked across the bed at her, the words felt empty and were delivered in a tone that was dismissive; she felt she had no choice but to leave right then she'd walked around the bed to pick up her bergan and bag. He spoke before she did. 'Its good to see you Dawes.' She nodded and headed towards the door. 'Take care Boss.' She'd left quickly and headed for the exit outside she'd sat in the garden watching for Rebecca and Sam to leave. She saw them come out and walk towards a car Sam had been skipping around her as they walked but she seemed to be so uptight, angry even. All Molly had felt was relief he was alive he would get well surely Rebecca should've felt the same after all he was the father of her child. She'd waited for the car to disappear and headed back towards his room. He was watching the window as she came into view and a smile lit up his face when he saw her. He was still weak and struggled to talk. 'I thought you might actually have left me.' She'd dropped the bags and resumed her seat on the edge of the bed. 'As if, I waited for Rebecca to go._

 _'_ _Coward.' She'd laughed quietly. 'She doesn't seem a very happy person.' He nodded in agreement.' She left me when I was on my second tour, I wasn't very good at the life she wanted.' 'What life was that?' He closed his eyes and lay there quietly for a few seconds before carrying on. 'Settled I guess I'm not so good at that. Always preferred being on tour, living out of my bergan. The army is all I've ever know, its… all I've wanted…' His voice trailed off and he turned away from her. 'I'm sorry.' She clutched at his hand as he turned back. 'Until I met you.' They sat there quietly reflecting on that fateful day. They'd made it out of there battered, bruised, injured but they were alive. 'I'm resigning my commission I cant do a desk job and this.' He'd nodded towards his leg. 'Thats my active career finished.' A tear rolled down her cheek as she realised the reality of his situation. 'What you gonna do.'_

 _'_ _I've no idea Molly but, I'm gonna sit next to you for a while and take a breath will you sit next to me?' She'd nodded. 'I wouldn't miss it for the world.'_

xox

 ** _Oh please. there's always competition with an ex, its called 'who'll die miserable?' Samantha Jones_**

xox

'Stop sorry I'm not getting this.' He stood quickly and walked towards the window leaning on the table for support his fingers drumming on the wood, he turned and leaned against it as he spoke again his voice was low, hushed. 'Pregnant what are you talking about? When did she come to New York she's never been to the US and if she was pregnant it wasn't by me.'

It was hard to speak and be succinct she realised now was not the time to confuse but she actually felt confused about it all. 'Okay let me try again Charles.' He watched her as she spoke listening to the sharpness of her tone. 'I had been in New York for two months you'd been gone back a couple of weeks from that weekend you visited. Rebecca emailed me said she was in New York could we meet for lunch. So I'm trying to be all nicey nice cause I'm thinking I'm gonna marry your ex and Sam will be part of my life as well. We met at the Four Seasons.'

'You hated that place.' She nodded. 'I did, I do its just not me but anyways we meet, we have lunch and she starts crying Charles in front of me in a crowded restaurant just lets it all out.' She stops talking gazing at him to see if he is actually listening to her he is staring into the distance so she stays silent she knows the way he works and how he absorbs and breaks down information. He walks back to the sofa and throws himself onto it reaching for the wine knocking back the contents in one long swig. His voice is raspy as his eyes lock on hers. 'Carry on.'

Her hands are sitting in her lap she is trying to stop them shaking but nothing works she cant look him in the eye anymore she has a foreboding that she made a terrible mistake about everything. 'It was awful for me she cried constantly telling me how much she loved you and that she'd waited for you to come back from every tour; the worry of you being killed in Afghan. How Sam was so important to you both and that it had been easy for you to realise once I was gone that you still loved each other.'

'Molly did you not think it….' She raised a shaky hand. 'Let me finish then you can obviously lay into me I know you're flipping dying to but try and think about me, think about what I was confronted with.' She carried on. 'It got progressively worse with her begging me to break up with you for the sake of the baby. So I'm thinking its Sam of course but she pulled out a pregnancy stick shoved it in me bleeding face how do you think I felt then? The wind was knocked right out of me I was stunned my whole world came crashing around me. I left there and went back to my apartment with her and that was the day I sent the break up email. Then I told her to get out and she demanded my engagement ring I was just so exhausted, so hurt felt so broken I gave it to her and she left. I never saw her again.'

She looked across the room he was sat forward his head in his hands, his long fingers pulling at the curls he glanced at her. 'She took your engagement ring?' She nodded. 'I was in shock.' The tears trickled down her face as she tried to speak. 'What could I do I mean she was your wife it was a family ring I had no right to it.'

'Ex wife Molly surely you trusted me and must've known it wasn't true.' He was so angry he wanted to kill Rebecca she went to New York he couldn't take it all in he needed to get out needed air. She didn't speak her hair was covering her face. 'And that ring was yours I gave it to you I cant believe you would even think I cheated on you Molly. How could you bloody think I'd be such a callous bastard?' She didn't speak her head still lowered he knew she was crying but he couldn't talk to her couldn't help her.

'So you broke up with me changed your mobile number and email and sent Becky to collect all your stuff from my flat. You didn't even give me the benefit of the doubt think we should discuss anything.' She nodded. 'I guess it makes sense why she said what did. I curse the day you were born I thought it was very dramatic when I was the innocent party.'

'Yeah she was mad at me for letting Rebecca dictate everything and arriving in New York an that. But she was furious with you for cheating on me and getting her pregnant I guess thats why she said it.'

'You know it wasn't true don't you?' His face was cold, detached as he watched her. 'She got married about 18 months ago to my best friend from uni Nigel. Seems he'd always had a thing for her so they live in Bath together. I would never have betrayed you Molly, never hurt you but you, you broke my heart. And it seems I didn't mean that much to you I mean look at that bloke.' He pointed towards the pictures. 'You got over me pretty quick whereas me.' His voice trailed off as he stood up. 'The last woman I made love to was you Molly when we were in New York no one else has ever measured up to you. You fucked up Molly she played you and you didn't really trust me because if you had you'd never have believed her. Just so you know you've broken up with me twice by writing to me first that email and your post it last night; I really cant take a hat-trick so I'm leaving.'

He walked slowly to the door and turned towards her. She was watching him please _don't go, don't leave me let me fix this._ 'Charles you have to understand what it was like for me.' He shook his head. 'No Molly I really don't.' He walked out of the room hearing a sob as he closed the front door he kept walking he needed to get out of here he needed to think. More importantly he needed to find Rebecca.

The train journey to Bath took too long Sunday service he thought it'd never get there, he jumped in a taxi and within a few minutes was ringing the bell. Nigel Rebecca's husband opened the door. 'Hello Charles everything alright? He'd looked at his watch and Charles realised it must be after 10pm he didn't care to be honest he wanted this out in the open now. 'Nigel is Rebecca around I need to talk to her.' Nigel beckoned him in and pointed towards the back of the house Charles walked down the hallway and saw her sitting at the table with her laptop. She looked up as she heard the door being pushed open. 'Charles I didn't know you were visiting your parents everything okay?' He stopped and looked around Nigel had followed him and was heading towards the fridge. 'Let me pour you a glass of wine Charles you look exhausted take a seat.'

He didn't want to sit the anger was boiling inside but his leg was still aching and so he dropped into the chair opposite her. Her face was one of puzzlement as she continued to watch him he took a long drink of the wine proffered to him and realised he hadn't eaten for hours so this would quickly go to his head he didn't care right now. Nigel took a seat at the head of the table and raised his glass. 'Good health.' Charles tipped the glass towards him but didn't break his eye contact with Rebecca. She pushed her chair back. 'Charles you're freaking me out a bit whats going on.'

'I saw Molly this weekend.' Her face dropped the shock evident and the glass in her hand shattered as it landed on the tiled floor. 'What, what do you mean I thought she was living in New York?' He shook his head. 'No unluckily for you she came back and well you might as well know now save me spelling it out for you we are back together so I need her ring back please.' Nigel had not moved watching the two of them but suddenly the connection broke he was up looking for a dustpan and brush sweeping the broken glass quickly whilst no one spoke. He brought the wine bottle and a fresh glass back to the table. 'Well I'm delighted for you Charles and I know Sam will be he loves her too.' Rebecca swung her face towards him. 'Shut up Nigel you've no idea what you're talking about she is nothing to our family.'

'Rebecca no I met her only once but she was perfectly charming to me and I read her column every week she's funny and self deprecating.' Charles face broke into a smile hearing someone talk about Molly and noting the positive points. But, how did bloody Nigel know she wrote a column and he'd been oblivious to it, to her. He'd been angry with her for so long and he realised it had all been for nothing. 'Rebecca the ring?'

'Charles I've no idea what you're talking about.' He gently placed the glass back on the table and laid his palms flat on either side. His voice was low and self assured as he spoke she would know the anger trailing through it. 'Okay well if you want to air your dirty laundry; sorry Nigel you like me probably had no idea about this. I'm trying to think when it would have been and I finally clicked on the train must be nearly two years ago, you told me you were off to a spa for the week now of course I know differently. It all makes sense now how did I never realise you were behind it all.' Nigel was looking from one to the other concern registering as his brain rewound to that week too. 'Where'd you go Rebecca?'

She didn't speak her face blank as she continued to stare at Charles. 'Cat got your tongue Rebecca?' He took a quick sip of the wine and carried on.

'Nigel it would appear she played us she went to New York.'

'What, no, impossible you were at that spa darling tell him. Charles I'm really happy about you and Molly but there must a plausible explanation for this its a misunderstand maybe Molly thought she saw someone who looked like Rebecca in New York.'

'Easy way to clear it up wheres your passport?' She looked panicked as Charles uttered the last words. 'Now hang on Charles there is no need for this we are all adults here. 'Get the passport Rebecca.' She rose slowly and left the room arriving back with it a few seconds later her face triumphant as she handed it to him. He flicked the pages and then stopped at the front page pointing to the issue date. Her face dropped and she sank into the chair. 'Molly's ring Rebecca I want it now.' She nodded wearily and again left the room Nigel reached across and snatched the passport from Charles hand.

'I don't understand what is going on here why would she go to New York I remember we couldn't find her passport had to get a new one issued for the honeymoon. This is absurd why would she try and break you and Molly up? Unless she….' He stopped speaking his eyes bleak as he focused on Charles. 'She was trying to get you back?' Charles nodded. 'It seems that way I've no idea why we were done a long time ago it was only Sam that held us together.'

Rebecca stood at the door as he finished speaking. 'Oh yes you would say that tell Nigel about you running off to Afghanistan for months at a time leaving me alone never knowing if you would make it back. I begged you to leave but you wouldn't you volunteered for that last tour and then you meet her and suddenly the army is out and she is in. How do you think I felt the pain the humiliation that you would give it all up for her but not for me.'

'Rebecca we've been over this a thousand times it always ends the same way you shout at me I apologise. I cant help that I fell in love with Molly anymore than you could with Nigel. Its in the past its done but this betrayal that you would follow her to another country and convince her you were pregnant and we were going to try again. I cant get my head around it the cruelty of it what she must have gone through thinking I'd betrayed her and that we were somehow over here playing happy families. Well it beggars belief to be honest. I knew you were capable of some…'

Nigel stood up and spoke quickly. 'Stop! Charles I think you should go Rebecca give him his ring or whatever it is and then lets stop this Sam will wake up if you two carry on and I don't think thats what any of us want agreed?' Charles nodded and stood up his hand outstretched as he approached her she didn't look at him but merely placed the box in his hand and turned away. 'Thank you, sorry Nigel about this.' He walked as quickly as he could to the door and closed it quietly behind him he heard Nigel muttering something but didn't stop to listen this was their problem to sort out he walked towards his parents house luckily they were away this week so he wouldn't have to answer any awkward questions he needed to think about what to do next and maybe here was the place to do it.

xox

 ** _One woman's Titanic is another woman's Love Boat. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

 **This is my third attempt at this chapter so I hope this time its worked. I've deleted thousands of words as I've rewritten it. Yikes not a pretty sight… I'm still not sure about it but over to you now.**


	6. Chapter 6

**_xox_**

 ** _Mr Big: Interesting dress._**

 ** _Carrie: Meaning?_**

 ** _Mr Big: Interesting dress._**

 ** _xox_**

 _'_ _Stop I mean it, stop you prannet you're supposed to be taking it easy.' She pushed him away from her laughing as his hands wound around her wrists pulling her back onto the bed. 'I am taking it easy I'm in bed aren't I?' He'd grinned as she'd given in and let him pull her onto his lap her arms snaking around his neck as he pressed his lips onto hers. 'Lets stay in bed all day.' She'd giggled. 'Erm listen you do know that you have to stay in bed all day me on the other hand I might pop out.' He'd made a groan as she leaned back his lips curling into a smile as he took in her flushed cheeks._

 _'_ _You cant go what if I fall out of bed?' She'd giggled again trying to get back on her feet smoothing her dress as she did so. 'Well stay in the bleeding middle then that way no chance for an accidental falling out. Anyways your Mum is downstairs once I go out she'll be up.'_

 _'_ _Oh no that really is a fate worse than death Dawes. You cant go.' He'd watched as she walked towards the mirror pushing her hair back as she double checked her make up. 'I'll be gone a few hours and then tonight if you're really good I'll let you come downstairs for an hour. Your parents are going out so I'll cook.'_

 _'_ _Bloody hell Molly what you trying to do give me a relapse or something lets order a takeaway.' He'd ducked as the hairbrush winged its way towards him. 'Oi I'm a war hero you cant throw things at me.' Reaching across the bed to pick it up he'd pulled it through his hair. 'I need to get my hair cut its too long its out of control now.' He'd scowled looking at her as she picked up her bag and jacket. He was so proud of her and this interview today but he didn't want her to go and leave him again. The last few weeks of them in their bubble had without doubt been the happiest time of his life; she'd got back from her second tour, he'd been allowed home from Headley for the second time. He knew he couldn't hold her back this was her time she turned back from the mirror smiling as she walked across the room. She leaned across the bed to kiss him. 'Right be good and I'll see if I can get you something nice.'_

 _'_ _Just get me some rosabaya from Regent street oh and bring yourself back of course!'_

 _'_ _Nice think of the bleeding coffee first.' She'd ruffled his hair as she stood up. 'Will I do?' He twirled his fingers indicating for her to do the same she spun in front of him. His voice husky when he spoke again. 'You look stunning I do love that dress.' Her hands had run down the fabric touching the pattern. 'Cant beat a bit of Reiss and it always reminds me of that rather nice lunch and 'erm the first time I stayed here.' She smiled gently down at him. 'It's my Charlie dress.' He groaned as she finished speaking. 'Charlie don't let Mum hear you and don't talk about sex when you are just about to leave me.'_

 _'_ _Hear what Charles?' The door was pushed open as Daphne James entered the room. A smile on her lips as she saw Molly to the side of the bed. 'Molly dear you look lovely, John is outside to run you to the station.' Molly nodded and walked towards her stopping as Daphne pulled her in for a hug. 'Knock 'em dead Molly.' She watched as Molly took a nervous gulp. 'Yeah I hope I can pull it off I'm cra, I mean I'm dead nervous an that.' Daphne gave a gentle smile and patted her on the shoulder. 'You'll be fine now off you go.' As Molly looked towards Charles Daphne spoke again. 'Don't worry about him I've got it covered.' She'd nodded putting a bright smile on her face as she looked from one to the other. 'I know, right I'm going wish me luck.' Daphne and Charles spoke at the same time. 'Luck.' Laughter filled the room as Molly left them and ran down the stairs. John was sitting in the car listening to the radio as she hopped in. 'Ready?' She'd nodded. 'As ready as I'll ever be.'_

 _John chatted all the way to the station Molly's nerves had kicked in as she left the house. They'd been happily cocooned in Bath now she was heading back to London for an interview and catch up with her family. Her Mother had begged her to stay a few days but she'd refused saying she couldn't leave Charles alone. Of course he wasn't alone his parents were there, friends, Sam but she'd loved this time since she got back spending time together just the two of them. Now by leaving Bath she was venturing into some unknown territory._

 _She'd been in her last month of service when her CO had asked her to be interviewed for a TV documentary on medics in the armed services. She hadn't wanted to do it but Charles had encouraged her when she'd told him about it. So she had done the first part of it in Afghan and then the second part back in the UK. There she'd met a producer who wanted her to take it to another level Josie Phillips said she had a great story to tell and should do something about it. She'd made the introductions with Enid Grey an institution in the media world. If she liked you you were set for life. So here she was on her way to a meeting with her new editor of 'The Daily Herald; about writing a column on life out of the army. It was exciting, nerve wracking she had no idea if she could even write as she'd said to Charles she didn't do school, couldn't face sitting behind a desk._

 _xox_

 ** _There it was the article I'd put my heart and soul into and it was bleeding. Carrie Bradshaw_**

 _xox_

 _Four hours later and her first piece had been ripped to shreds Enid sat on the edge of her desk a red pen circling words at a fast pace. 'Molly I realise this is a first attempt but it's not good enough. I want cutting edge stuff, I want shoes, handbags things you've missed whilst you wandered around in the desert.'_

 _'_ _Wandered around, right I don't remember wandering around in Afghan. In fact with the Taliban following our every move the very last thing you would be doing is wandering around, you had to stay alert, focused everyday to stay alive.' She looked up as she finished speaking an indignant look on her face; why did people who knew nothing about war try to minimise it and make it sound like she'd been camping with the brownies, she hadn't been wandering around in her stilettos in the desert as far as she could remember. Enid had the grace to look embarrassed and stood up walking around to sit back at her desk her voice softer as she spoke again. 'Look Molly I like you I think you could be successful but I don't want this.' She waved the graffiti'd papers around as she carried on talking. 'I want you discovering a new world as a young woman. Go to Harvey Nichols look at shoes, look at bags, clothes and try them on; try on shoes lots of shoes. Write about them the fun of shoe shopping. I love shoes and so do young women. Write about living in London a young girl about town.' Molly had sat there making notes trying to remain composed when all she wanted right then was to be cuddled up with Charles watching some old movie on the TV. She felt more out of her comfort zone than the day she'd arrived in Afghan. She'd nodded replying quickly. 'Okay I know nothing about shoes and bags but I can research. I don't live in London though I'm living in Bath at the moment.'_

 _'_ _Ooh I love that.' Enid clapped her hands as she spoke. 'Ive got it Molly in the City. Bath is a city isn't it? Oh it must be they have shops there don't they. Of course they do and they have Austen.' Enid stopped talking mulling something over as she looked down at Molly's work. 'Right your first piece Molly life in Austen land. Let me have it by the end of the week okay? This could work you in different cities hmmm its got legs, maybe some different topics as well as fashion.' Molly sat there stunned as Enid continued talking almost to herself. 'Molly in New York, now that would be interesting could work with the New York office for a couple of months maybe.' Enid was scribbling lots of notes to herself when she stopped and looked up. 'Dismissed Molly go shoe shopping.' She smiled and waved a hand in the air as Molly stood uncertainly and left the room. What had just happened? Was she going to have to live in a different city every month? And the facial expressions, the finger twirling and waving of the hand was actually worse than Charles she'd thought as she stood in the lift._

 _She walked out of the newspaper offices to find the nearest bookshop. She should have listened more when Charles was talking about Jane Austen now she'd need to buy a book. Sitting on the train a few hours later as she headed back to Bath she was engrossed in Persuasion maybe this Jane Austen knew what she was talking about. Families were hard work but she wrote a good story and she thought Captain Wentworth sounded dead dishy. Her allegiance to Jane Austen grew as she continued reading realising Anne's family were just as dysfunctional as her own she'd discovered that after going to see her family earlier. The place was chaos as normal so much shouting, kids everywhere. Her dad sitting on the sofa in his pants with a can of lager as he watched the TV. Lunch in the Dawes house was as riotous as always and despite the noise and chaos she'd felt her heart lurch as she'd said goodbye to them all. Belinda had walked to the station with her hugging her so tight as they said goodbye. Being in Nespresso conjured up memories as she'd looked at her bare arm remembering Charles once writing the word on her arm when she was going on R &R. Deciding to follow Enid's advice she went to Harvey Nichols losing herself in the shoe department. She was not a girlie girl she'd lived in a tent with a load of squaddies for months but suddenly she was transported into another world where Manolo Blahniks ruled the roost. No one wore navy and black it was anthracite, ruby, pagayo. She left an hour later with a pair of esper ruby suede pumps she'd winced as the assistant had rung up £590 but she figured she'd earned them and what else was deployment money for if not to buy shoes. She'd fought in a war for God's sake didn't she deserve a treat and more importantly it was research; to write about shoes you would need to wear them!_

 _She'd texted him on the train letting him know she was on her way home he'd responded with a list of take outs and for her to choose one. She didn't blame him she was pretty shit at cooking. Maybe she should have signed up for cookery lessons instead of buying shoes but as she'd admired them time and time again she'd realised you could get good food everywhere but shoes well good shoes were hard to find._

 _xox_

 ** _Maybe some women aren't_** **** ** _meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till_** **** ** _they find someone just as wild to run with them._**

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw_**

 _xox_

 _'_ _So I have to write about Jane Austen for my first piece its like a test piece I guess.' She'd helped him downstairs and modelled her new purchases wobbling as she tried to swan around the kitchen gracefully in the high heels. He'd made some remark about seeing her naked but wearing them and she made a mental note to jot it down. Why did men think women were sexy naked and in heels?_

 _He'd watched her across the table as she chatted about her day, her life changing extraordinary decision to leave the army had now led to her writing and he had a feeling this was about to change her life, their life together for the better. After her second tour (even though it had been a short one only three months) she'd said no more she was leaving the army she wanted to make a life with him. They couldn't do that if she was still in she could be deployed anywhere. He hadn't wanted her to go back to Afghan he didn't think he'd slept the months she was away but, he'd never tried to change her mind it had been part of her journey he couldn't create obstacles. So he'd waited and done his rehabilitation at Headley. He'd have been fine if he hadn't taken a tumble down the stairs back in Bath; stupid boot had caught on the corner of the balustrade and he hadn't been able to grab onto anything as he fell. Two weeks back in Headley for that mishap and he'd felt as though he was back at the beginning all over again._

 _'_ _Hey I've lost you.' Her face was soft in the low light she watched him a concerned look on her face. Her hand reaching over to clasp his as he toyed with the glass on the table her fingers gently caressing his. 'His eyes fluttered as they refocused on her. Sorry I'm just tired.' She pushed her chair back and walked around to him. 'Okay mate lets get you into bed.' He raised an eyebrow as he spoke. 'Molly Dawes you've got a one track mind.' She'd giggled her delightful giggle that she did when she was blushing and he hadn't been able to resist stopping on the stairs to kiss her the breath catching in his throat as he felt her warm body press against him. As he fell into bed he pulled her with him. 'Don't leave me again I hate it when you're not here.' His arms had wrapped around her as he hugged her close to his body. She'd relaxed into his hold and laid there talking quietly to him her words soothing as he drifted off to sleep. Hearing his breathing steady she'd known he was asleep and disentangled herself making her way downstairs to clean up._

 _Daphne and John had returned soon after and the three of them had sat in an easy silence drinking a late night glass of wine. Molly had filled them in on her day and the excitement of what lay ahead writing she couldn't quite believe it was going to happen and hadn't realised she'd spoken aloud until John spoke. 'Confidence Molly you will get there we're all behind you, you know that.' She'd smiled as she yawned and stood up going to each to kiss them goodnight. 'You are the best seriously I don't know how you put up with me, us, this.'_

 _Daphne stood as well her arm around Molly's shoulders as they walked out of the drawing room. 'It's simple Molly you love him so I cant ask for anything more as a Mum eh? Now bed for all of us tomorrow we'll go to the Jane Austen museum its about time we educated you on the history of Bath.'_

 _xox_

 ** _Saturday night's dinner came and went with no call from Big. My life was suddenly shit. Carrie Bradshaw_**

 _xox_

Empty wine bottles sat on the table as four friends sat scattered around the room dissecting what had happened the previous day. When Charles had left Molly she'd crawled into bed and stayed there until Monday afternoon, when Becky had called her landline as her 10 messages on the mobile had not been returned. But he hadn't called no text, nothing, it was radio silence….

'I knew Molly remember I said this would come back to bite you. You treated him like shit because some crazy woman arrived in New York. I always knew there was something not right he would never cheat it's not in his makeup.' Jackie sat staring at Molly with a self righteous look across her face. 'I mean I don't want to rehash it but you changed all your contact details and you never even gave him a chance. I mean who does that after everything you'd been through to be together you gave up Molly you pushed him away you abandoned him, no wonder he stormed out of here. I almost feel sorry again for him and I hate feeling sorry for people.'

'Ladies can we cut the fucking cake I've a three way to get to tonight.' Kate pointed at the cake to emphasis her point. 'Whoah there my friend what the hell?' Molly put down her glass as she acknowledged Kates comment. 'Oh Richard wanted it for his birthday I mean what do you give a millionaire when they have everything. He wanted a three way so I said yes its tonight and I don't have a lot of time to discuss Sternface and his current misdemeanours.'

'Right yes well I can see my problems are nothing compared to yours.' Molly spoke with a smile playing on her lips. 'Hmmmm darling I've spent the whole day cancelling your wedding and I even had to speak to Prickface.' The smile disappeared from Molly's face as she spoke again. 'You spoke to him what did he say?' Kate gave a grimace. 'Lets just say it wasn't all that polite he has some items here he wants them back etc. I gave him the honeymoon I mean its paid for I figured you wouldn't want it now.' Molly shook her head. 'Nope I really don't.' She uncurled herself from the armchair and went over to Kate hugging her.

'Thank you.' Kate smiled. 'Sure darling anything for you its all done and so thats one problem solved.'

Jackie spoke quickly. ' And I called the dress shop today so the dresses and shoes can all be returned so thats good as well.' Molly sat back down in the chair reaching for her wine. 'Wow you people could run the world eh?'

'Well don't forget me I baked a cake.' Becky reached for the knife to slice it and handed plates around. Jackie spoke first. 'Good cake Becky the lessons are paying off.' Becky nodded 'I'm thinking of applying for the Great British Bake Off next year. 'Right excellent idea yes definitely do that.' Jackie caught Kate's eyes as she spoke and stifled a giggle.

'Okay so how does Molly fix her fuck up?' Kate finished the cake and looked at Jackie and Becky. 'Yes we need to sort that before you go for your fuck up.' Jackie burst out laughing as she said it. Her hands in front of her mouth as she tried to control herself. Kate smirked. 'Lovely I thought I was the only one with a potty mouth.' Becky blushed as she looked from one to the other. 'Hmmm do we even know if he's in town?' Jackie reached for her phone as Becky spoke. 'Whats the name of his restaurant?' Molly shook her head. 'I've no idea I don't think I even registered it when I saw the place Saturday.' 'Street?' Jackie's fingers hovered over the phone waiting for Molly. 'I don't know I was just walking I never really took much notice I'd just broken my engagement I wasn't looking at my A-Z.'

'Its been an eventful few days darling we know that. Don't worry I'll get one of my team onto it.' Kate reached for her phone and began tapping, dropping the blackberry onto the sofa beside her. 'Right I have Miguel on it he's hot so will find it.' Jackie smirked as she spoke. 'Jesus Kate don't you have any women employed in your company?' She stood to pour more wine for everyone as Kate responded. 'Darling I like hot men and I like them around me at all times. I consider it a perk of my job and it's my company so I can do what I like.' Jackie hands flew up. 'Okay, okay sorry I spoke.'

As the minutes passed the hope of Miguel finding Charles restaurant began to fade. Kate's phone rung and she answered quickly a triumphant look crossing her face as she hung up. 'Its called _Ditto_ and he's out of the country for a few days.' Molly's head lifted from the back of the chair as she took in the proffered information. 'Ditto?' Kate nodded. 'Funny I've never heard of it must check it out its pretty near my office actually. So he is not even in the UK maybe a godsend whilst we figure this out. He got out of the country quickly though.'

'What's ditto about Moll's?' Jackie watched her friends face as she zoned out. 'Oh it was a word we used in Afghan.'

xox

 ** _How many great loves do you get in a lifetime? Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

 _Molly was sat at a table with Qaseem one of the interpreters his contract ended in a few days and she'd enjoyed the time they spent sitting and talking together. Behind them 2 section had been up to mischief coercing Mansfield to do a fifty sausage challenge._

 _'_ _He'll be bleeding scared for life, probably go veggie after today.' She nodded over her shoulder as she chatted to Qaseem, he'd laughed as they watched Mansfield heave again as more sausages were pushed towards him. 'Might puke myself lads seriously thats enough I'm not looking after him later when he's got food poisoning.' A chorus of_ Sorry Molls _was chanted back but the challenge continued. As Qaseem carried on the conversation she'd noticed him on the edge of the canteen tent talking to another officer hands in his pockets eyes squinting against the Afghan sun. 'Scuse me a min just need to see the Bossman.'_

 _'_ _Captain James.' She called to him as she walked ensuring he didn't walk away. He'd watched her approach and only she saw the fire in his eyes as he looked her up and down._

 _'_ _Molly you need to stay away from me.' Her hurt face caused him to change tack his face softened as he spoke. 'What I mean is I, well it's not long until decompression and then.'_

 _She'd cocked her head to one side as she watched him her face smiling up at him. 'So if I said I don't how I'm keeping my hands off you right now what would you say?' She folded her arms in front of her as she watched him, there was no mistaking the turmoil and confusion that swept across his face at that moment but, he finally looked down at her and smiled. 'I'd say ditto Dawes.'_

 _'_ _Ditto, bleeding ditto? I was expecting something a bit more romantic than ditto.' He sighed watching her as she spoke. 'We agreed we'd wait out.'_

 _'_ _I am waiting out aren't I? I'm obeying your orders boss.' He nodded as she finished speaking. 'I need to stay focused get you all back in one piece you're in my charge.'_

 _'_ _Fine whatever, maybe this is a mistake Charles.' He'd looked around as she said his name not wanting anyone to hear her. 'What do you mean? We both agreed this we don't want to lose our jobs lets get the job done and go home okay.' She'd nodded. 'Yeah okay sorry its just the heat getting to me.'_

 _'_ _Ditto.' He'd smiled as he spoke his eyes never leaving hers. 'Yeah right bleeding ditto I'm off to finish me scoff.' She'd turned and walked away from him knowing he was watching her so she sashayed slightly as she swung into the tent. As she looked over her shoulder she saw the blush creep over his face and knew she'd got the reaction she wanted. Serve him right for saying ditto she'd thought._

 _Ditto had then become a code word for them during the rest of the tour. It finished off sentences when they veered off topic knowing that it would shut down personal chatter. When he'd been in hospital there were days when he'd been too weak and tired to speak so she would lean down and whisper 'ditto' in his ear. For her birthday he'd found someone who made jewellery and had a bracelet with DITTO on the links no one else would get the significance but them which is why it made it so special. Her Mum had grabbed her wrist one day when she'd been wearing the bracelet. 'Ditto bleeding ditto whats that all about then?' How could she tell anyone else it was their secret._

 _xox_

 ** _Men, fuck em, fuck em, fuck all of them - Samantha Jones_**

 ** _And thats coming from a woman who has - Miranda Hobbs_**

 _xox_

'Its great he's away so you don't have to hide Molly you can get back to normal and we will be around to get you through this okay.' Becky flashed a bright smile trying to be optimistic about the news.

'So he hates me so much that not only did he leave town he left the country. I mean that says a lot about me doesn't it? I've really wrecked everything last week was normal I was getting married, this week I've dumped my fiancee, cancelled a wedding, slept with an ex and found out that the love of my life didn't cheat on me.'

'Darling you should write that in your column this week it will be fab.' Kate looked at her watch again. Molly saw it and flashed a grin. 'Kate go you obviously have a lot of things to do to get ready for the um.' She looked at the others. 'What do we call this?' Becky shook her head, Jackie began laughing. 'It's a normal day for Kate I'd be happy to not discuss her sex life ever again but I have a feeling that we will be hearing about tonight in great detail.' She shuddered at the thought that ran through her mind and reached over to tap Kate's hand. 'Joking Kate I cannot wait to hear the sordid details.'

'Ladies I cannot help it I'm fabulous and I'm hot and I like sex so sue me.' Molly spoke first. 'If I thought I could get a gagging order on you I'd do it but I fear it would backfire on us.' She disappeared to the kitchen arriving back with a chilled bottle from the fridge. 'Right lets move on from men and sex and all the shit what else is going on?'

 **xox**

Later that night Molly made a decision just like him she needed to get out of town, out of the country. She emailed Enid asking if the project they had discussed could be brought forward and if so she would go asap. Five minutes and Enid replied obviously working on New York time, no problem when did she want to go? Molly replied 'tomorrow' and the response back 'perfect' was all she needed. She fell asleep exhausted but relieved she was going to the one place that would take care of her and help her think about how she fixed the Charles problem.

 ** _xox_**

 ** _Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us and understand us and kiss our three heads and make it all better. Carrie Bradshaw_**

 ** _xox_**

The house was quiet as he lay on the sofa empty bottles and pizza boxes on the floor. Thank god his parents were at Lake Garda or else his Mother would have let him have it. He should never have left her flat that night but he'd been so angry wanting to have it out with Rebecca and he'd wanted to punish her too. She hadn't trusted him and she'd broken his heart she didn't deserve his sympathy. It had sound logical the first time he'd said it to himself now it just felt hollow and he felt deflated, lost and bewildered to what he did next.

He realised by day two he wanted to speak to her but figured she probably wouldn't speak to him so he'd called no one and instead had laid on the sofa drinking more beer and wine, watching daytime tv and eating takeout pizza.

At least with a fuzzy head he didn't have to think too hard and it helped to pass the hours. He drifted into another alcohol induced sleep hoping tomorrow he might figure out what to do.

 **xox**

 _Thanks as always for your reviews and feedback. I'm ever grateful. xxx_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Carrie Bradshaw: Oh, it's never different! It's six years of *never* being different! This is it! I am done! Don't call me ever again! Forget you know my number! In fact, forget you know my name! And you can drive up this street all you want - because I don't live here any more!_**

He arrived back to London on a rainy day it matched his mood and the next day as the rain continued to fall his mood didn't change. He'd been to her flat but got no reply from ringing the outside buzzer; after managing to get into the building he'd stood outside her door banging until a neighbour came into the hall and told him Molly was away for a few weeks.

He'd left her building walking through the London streets ignoring the rain as it soaked through his jacket and clothes. By the time he reached the bistro he was drenched and one of the staff ran towards him as he walked in. 'Charles bloody hell you're soaked mate.' He'd stopped and looked at Tony. 'Your powers of observation are outstanding man.' Tony had laughed and thrown a tea towel he'd been using to shine glasses. 'Sort your hair out boss you look shit.' He caught sight of his reflection as he walked towards the back of the restaurant and through the door marked private. He did look shit and he felt it having spent eight days spiralling out of control as he drank heavily emptying his parents wine cellar. They hadn't been impressed when they'd arrived back from Italy. Telling them both what had happened with Molly and the story with Rebecca solicited gasps of outrage and shock from both followed by the inquisition of what was he going to do to fix this.

xox

 ** _My mind was yelling how angry I was, but my heart…my heart. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

 _His mother had gone to see Rebecca the next day to let her know exactly what she thought about it all. Arriving back to let him know Rebecca was devastated at the upset as Nigel was threatening to leave her and blaming her ridiculous behaviour at that time on Molly for taking him away from her and Sam. Daphne had left furious and returned home. 'She has a screw loose that girl. Blaming Molly I mean Molly the sweetest girl when I think of what she must've gone through. The pain of everything and then you Charles.' She'd stopped talking and pointed an accusatory finger at him. 'And you she tells you what you wanted to know why it happened and you walk out. I'm ashamed of you Charles James, the boy I raised would never do that he would never have left that poor girl there crying. I don't know whats happened to you but you'd better sort it out Charles I'm telling you that right now. Bitterness is not an attractive feature in anyone.' She'd stopped talking and took a breath her face flushed as the anger radiated around her._

 _He'd spoken quietly his eyes hooded as he watched her. 'Feel better now?' He'd thrown a sardonic glance at his mother as she glared at him; she shrugged and sat down. 'I will feel a whole lot better when you go and apologise. This is fixable Charles she broke off her engagement she knew it wasn't working she was waiting for you. It was fate her walking into the restaurant and now there are no secrets everything is out in the open. Find her tell her you love her and marry the girl please. Whats done is done you cant change the past but you can have a brighter future together.'_

 _Lying in bed the next morning he'd realised his mother was the only one talking sense after her lecture he'd stormed out of the house and found the nearest pub. His father had found him several hours later drunk, inconsolable, spouting nonsense and managed to get him home. Not without incident as he smashed a vase and brought down several paintings hanging on the stairs wall. Daphne had watched from the door as John had talked quietly soothing the distressed Charles as he got him into bed. Waking with the hangover from hell and a mouth that felt as though he'd eaten sawdust he knew he had to take action. He'd found his phone and called her leaving a message. 'It's me we need to talk I'm back in London next week can we meet?' She hadn't responded and the subsequent messages left on her switched off phone were not returned._

 _xox_

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw: So you and me... Then maybe this is for real?_**

 ** _Mr Big: Could be…_**

 _xox_

Sitting at his desk across from Tom he couldn't hold the emotion back. 'I've blown it haven't I?' His face bleak as he looked up. Tom gave a sad smile. 'I'm not the best person to give advice on women my friend but if she is worth fighting for then you don't give up, you never give up.' His head dropped back into his hands his fingers raking through the curls as doom continued to waft around him. 'Is she worth fighting for Charles?' His eyes were wet as he raised his head and nodded. 'She is.'

xox

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw: I have a huge favor to ask: I want you to know my friends better._**

 ** _Mr Big: I know your friends just fine. Charlotte is the brunette, Miranda is the redhead, and Samantha is trouble._**

xox

Becky collected the mail and climbed the stairs to Molly's flat she let herself in and busied herself watering the plants and sifting through the post that would need to be forwarded and what she could leave. She heard the phone ring and walked towards the machine as it clicked in. 'It's me I don't even know if your picking up messages but I had to call I figured I had nothing to lose. I cant lose you again Molly I love you.' She reached for the phone. 'Hi its Becky.'

Sitting across from Kate and Jackie in the coffee shop she updated them on her phone call. 'I had to answer it he sounded awful and I believe him he does love her he just isn't very good in crisis situations.'

Jackie watched her saying nothing her eyes flickering as she digested the information. 'I get he loves her I don't doubt it but he walked out on her and never even called the next day so why should we tell him where she is? Why should we make it easy for him? And more importantly do we tell Molly about this?' No one spoke as all three friends passed looks to each other not one sure what to do trying to asses the situation.

Kate opened her mouth to speak and stopped nodding her head towards the door as he walked in. He stopped and looked around his eyes focusing on the table in front of him. Becky smiling whilst Jackie and Kate glared. He walked over and sat down nerves overwhelmed him as he realised they were not going to make it easy for him.

He took a breath as he began speaking. 'Thanks for agreeing to meet me, I know what you must think of me and I'm feeling the same about myself to be honest.'

Jackie leaned back in the chair as she watched him her eyes never leaving his face. 'Why should we believe you Charles? You left her over a week ago you didn't call her to make sure she was okay you just disappeared. Men in love don't do things like that.'

'Oh yes they do. They make the biggest mistakes Jackie because they are in love and they're vulnerable. I mean we're vulnerable we fuck up. I fucked up and now I need to fix it. I went to her flat but her neighbours said she is out of the country.' He stopped talking and cast a glance at all three hoping for a positive reaction.

'Listen Charles I know what went down with your crazy bitch of an ex wife but at the end of the day all I care about is Molly and her heart is broken again.' He nodded his eyes focusing on her. 'Mine was in tatters too Kate don't forget this happened to me as well.' She shrugged her shoulders as she carried on talking. 'Yes darling I'm sure you're telling us the truth but she was moving on and then last week when the reality of the wedding kicked in she freaked out broke it off. Walked into your restaurant and fell in love all over again. But, you walked out on her and now well I don't know…' Her voice trailed off as she caught Becky's eye.

Becky placed a hand on Charles arm and smiled as she spoke. 'I want to help you we all want to help you Charles.' She looked pleadingly at Jackie and Kate across the table who were saying nothing. 'If we tell you where she is what will you do?' He reached a hand into his pocket and put a small box on the table. 'I'm going to give this back to her and find the nearest registry office and get married. I'm not wasting any more time I've already lost too much.' Becky opened the box and smiled. 'Oh I'd forgotten how beautiful it is.' He gave a slight smile. 'Indeed it belonged to my grandmother and she left it to me to give to the love of my life. I was still married at the time but she knew, she told me one day I'd meet someone so amazing and that I shouldn't let her go when I found her.' Becky's eyes glistened as she listened to him and she looked across the table at her two friends imploring them to give him a break.

'Shame you didn't follow her advice.' Kate spoke quickly and smirked as she caught Becky glaring at her. 'Well its true Becky don't give me that look.'

'I need her in my life, I cant function without her, all I want is to make her happy.' His eyes flicked around all three as he spoke the sincerity and emotion all too evident.

Jackie slid a folded piece of paper across the table to him. 'Go and get her then.' As he reached for the paper she grabbed his wrist. Her eyes searching his face. 'Do not fuck up again understand?' He gave a quick nod and pulled the paper towards him unfolding it to read the words imprinted. 'She's in New York?'

oxo

 ** _Mr Big: Look, I need your advice. You three know her better than anyone, you're the loves of her life. And a guy's just lucky to come in fourth. But I do love her. And if you think I have the slightest chance, I'll be on the next plane to Paris, I'll roam the streets till I find her, I'll do anything. But if you think she really is... happy... well, then I wouldn't want to wreck that for her, and I'll be history._**

 ** _Miranda: [after the girls all look at each other for a long moment] Go get our girl._**

oxo

New York was always a good idea and maybe if she'd been in a different frame of mind it would've been. But she was homesick she wanted to be in her flat, walking around an autumnal London, seeing her friends.

Leaving London had seemed the right decision. Enid had been talking for a while about her returning to do another 'in the big apple' segment. So she'd arrived and spent her first week catching up with the New York team and getting a feel for the big week coming up. It was fashion week and she'd spent hours running across Manhattan to the various shows. All she wanted today was a long bath and some sleep her feet were buzzing she shouldn't have worn her heels knowing she was hot footing it around the city. Someone called her name and she saw Victoria Beckham give her a wave as she took her seat further along the row she smiled and waved back. That was the thing with New York you saw everyone and thank goodness she'd decided to wear the VB dress underneath her vintage Chanel jacket. She reached into her bag and pulled out her notebook and cast a glance around the front row. It was full of models and actresses all out to be seen but she was here to see the clothes to discover next years trends as the models walked the runway. What she and the other journalists, writers wrote about today would dictate what women were wearing next year. Normally she would love it and she knew that other writers in London had wanted this gig so she was lucky it had got her out of London and was keeping her busy so she didn't, shouldn't have time to think about him, but it was all she could think about. So New York was not working for her.

His face filled her dreams she would wake in the night reaching for him tears falling as she realised the other side of the bed was empty. He hadn't called before she left, she hadn't expected it if he didn't call in the first 24 hours so there was little chance of him calling a week later. The girls had said she didn't need to run away she hadn't done anything wrong but it wasn't running away from him it was almost running away from herself. She needed that distance she wasn't looking for him on every street there was no chance of running into him.

She was using a US mobile in New York so it would be difficult if he wanted to contact her and she hadn't turned on her UK one. The disappointment if there was nothing from him would have been unbearable it was better not to know. But almost two weeks had gone by it was a sign, a sign that what they had was dead.

The lights dimmed and the show started Miranda Kerr dropped into the seat next to her she turned to say hello and was rewarded with a hug and kiss as she recognised her. 'Molly babe not seen you here for a long time you back in New York?' She'd nodded. 'Looks that way.' As Miranda looked around the room she whispered. 'Lets do lunch next week catch up I feel like its been forever since we saw each other.' She smiled. 'That would be fab I'll email you some dates.'

The Chanel show was one of the best she had seen the fabrics used were stunning and she'd tried to capture as much as possible. Miranda had taken her backstage when she went and she'd watched a fun filled hour of everyone being regaled with stories as Karl Lagerfeld entertained. This was what she loved she should've been thriving in this environment but she stood back watching it all play out in front of her, her misery overwhelming every part of her.

The days whizzed by as she went from show to show catching up with people she didn't see at the European shows; as she left the Metropolitan museum after the last show she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so exhausted. She reached the bottom of the steps and managed to avoid getting caught up in the press frenzy as celebrities exited the building. She stood on the bottom step leaning on the hand rail. No chance of a cab she'd have to take the subway. She bent down to reach into her bag and pulled out her flats sliding her feet gratefully into them and bundling her Manolo's into a shoe bag. Now she was tiny and disappeared amongst the tall beautiful people she didn't care, there was a bed with her name on it and room service awaiting.

She ducked out of the way as a camera flashed and skipped behind a black town car to cross the road. As she reached the other side she gave a look back over her shoulder the crowd still was there she smiled as she headed towards the subway New York fashion week as crazy as ever.

xox

 ** _Every year the women of New York leave the past behind and look forward to the future. This is known as fashion week. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

He looked out of the car window at the crowds as they thronged outside the museum he wondered was she there and so looked harder just in case but couldn't see her there were too many people to focus on anyone person. He'd decided to stay at the Four Seasons it was the one place he wouldn't run into her. He didn't know where she was staying but he had her office address and that was a start. Jackie had given him her US mobile number but he hadn't been able to call it what he wanted to say to her, what he needed to say to her had to be done face to face. There was too much resting on this. He needed the element of surprise calling her would allow the opportunity for her to disappear.

As the car pulled up outside the entrance his phone rung and he'd exited the car looking down the street remembering the last time he'd been in this city how he'd felt so happy and in love. Now he felt worried confused and with little sleep the last few days exhausted. He answered the call to hear Sam on the other end.

'Dad are you there, have you seen Molly yet I'm at Grandma's she wants to know.' He heard his mother say something in the background and gave a small grin imagining this was not what his mother had intended for Sam to say. 'Not yet scamp I've just arrived at the hotel give me some time.' His mother came on the phone. 'Well have you seen her yet?' He shook his head as he spoke. 'Mum I'm just at the hotel so give me a few hours eh? I need to take a shower get some sleep.' Her voice softened as she responded. 'Right good plan maybe leave it until tomorrow you must be weary after the flight.' He heard more voices and then his father's voice in his ear. 'Charles just remember she's the one you can fix this.' He'd stood on the pavement in the New York sunshine. 'Thanks Dad I hope so I feel completely out of my comfort zone what if she says no?' His father was silent on the other end of the line. 'Charles in the army if someone had said you couldn't do something and get the right result what would you do.' He gave a small laugh. 'I'd of pulled 2 section into a briefing and said we're doing this.' 'Okay so just pretend the boys are with you and get cracking.' He'd rung off from his parents and Sam walking into the lobby. As he'd checked in he turned and saw a crowd of people walking through the hotel. They were loud and boisterous and very happy. If only he felt the same he was handed his key card and shrugged off offers of the concierge to carry his bag. He followed the noise and looked in at the Ty Bar the party was in full swing he was suddenly in need of alcohol and stepped in to head to the bar but stopped as more people joined the group and the noise levels increased. He'd order room service, he'd find the mini bar he decided and backed out making his way to the elevator. As the doors closed he felt relief he hadn't stayed as he saw more people coming through the lobby obviously headed for the party. The doors reopened and he watched the group disappear into the bar no one got into the elevator and he pushed the button for 39 again to close the doors he just wanted to get to his room.

xox

 ** _Mr Big: Get another cocktail, woman!_**

xox

She had tried to avoid the group walking into the hotel she knew if any of them saw her she'd never get away. She hung back hoping they'd disappear before she walked in to the lobby. She waited a few seconds and walked in but to no avail she heard her name being called and was surrounded by a group of models who were delighted to see her in the same hotel. Begging her to go for drinks and advising of the party in the bar. She'd managed to give an excuse of a deadline for the paper and walked quickly to the bank of elevators as she saw the doors closing on one she quickened her pace and hit the button but was too late. She saw the doors opening for the one next to it and stepped inside hitting 39.

She was not a fan of the Four Seasons everyone else seemed to love it but she preferred staying in Murray Hill it was quiet residential and the hotel she liked; the Affinia overlooked the Empire State Building. She'd tried to book in there but with it being fashion week everything was full and the New York office had no option but to book her into the Four Seasons. Everyone seemed to be staying here and she'd taken to staying in her room once she got back so as to avoid running into people and feeling obligated to mingle and be social.

As she let herself into her suite she knew she shouldn't complain the place reeked expensive and she should be enjoying the luxury of it all but she had no appetite for anything and even a white fluffy robe hanging up in her bathroom failed to elicit a smile. Two hours later and she emerged from the bathroom wearing her robe she'd lain in the bath as long as she could and almost fallen asleep but she still felt no more relaxed. She ordered dinner and opened the mini bar reaching in for the bottle of champagne. 'Might as well go large tonight.' She tipped the bottle to her reflection in the mirror as she popped the cork pouring it quickly into a glass and downing half of it in seconds. Room service arrived and she picked at the food moving back to the mini bar to fetch another bottle. She curled up in an armchair and switched on the TV flicking through channel after channel stopping at an old black and white movie. She woke several hours later the TV showing some horror movie by now and switched if off crawling into her bed sleep overwhelming her as she drifted off thinking only of him.

xox

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw: Have you ever been in love?_**

 ** _Mr Big: Abso-fucking-lutely!_**

xox

He'd showered, eaten and paced the room debating on his plan of action. Tomorrow was Saturday and he had no idea if he was going to be able to find her address he looked at the piece of paper again. He was going to try Murray Hill first thing it was where she'd stayed before and he knew he'd find her if she was there. He just needed her to see he was just a man standing in front of her, asking her to love him. Asking her to marry him he picked the box up and took out the ring smiling as he remembered the day he'd proposed.

xox

 ** _The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them and others you don't. But in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

 _He'd been planning it for weeks thinking of the perfect place, the perfect time to do it. To get down on one knee and ask her to marry him. To say to her you are the one I want to grow old with. But the day went to shit from the moment she got back to Bath. She was in a bad mood Enid had once again ripped her latest assignment to pieces and she was fretting about the fact she was not going to be able to cut it as a writer._

 _He'd spent ages with the staff in Bailbrook House perfecting his plan. When he'd told her they were going out for dinner she'd freaked out saying she was tired from being in London and didn't want to go anywhere she wanted a bath and a pizza. He'd panicked saying they had to go he'd paid for the dinner in advance forcing her to have a quick shower and change. Her mood didn't improve if anything it had got worse by the time she reappeared downstairs and it had taken all of his patience to not react and keep a straight face as he herded her out of the house and into a cab._

 _The private dining room he'd booked was perfect and romantic and on any other night she would have loved it and appreciated it. That night she'd been oblivious to it and spent the evening barely speaking. He'd realised he couldn't propose when she was like this he wanted them to remember this night as the official start of their life together._

 _The evening wound up much quicker than anticipated and the staff were perplexed as he shook his head at them when they came in to ask them to move out of the dining room. The plan had been to propose in the dining room and then go up to a suite for champagne but that had pretty much gone out the window. He'd booked a suite in the Mansion house for them and it was stunning a huge four poster bed, views over Bath and a roll top bath in the ensuite. He thought he'd done pretty well but the night had unraveled and suddenly they were stood outside waiting for a cab to take them home. He'd managed to tell the concierge he would come back tomorrow for their bags his disappointment evident as he'd left him at the desk._

 _Her head was down as she stood hands in her jacket pocket kicking at an imaginary stone on the ground as he joined her. 'I'm sorry you obviously went to a lot of trouble an I've been a cow tonight.' Her face turned upwards towards him tears glistened in her eyes. 'I didn't realise writing would be such hard work and Enid is just giving me such a hard time and I know I'm lucky to be doing this but its just crap thats all.' He'd pulled her towards him kissing her forehead. 'Its fine Molls we all have bad days.' The taxi had arrived and they'd sat in silence on the drive back she starred out of the window whilst he watched her. He had the driver stop at the Circus so they could walk the final few minutes. He took her hand in his as they began walking when they reached the Royal Crescent she stopped and looked around._

 _'_ _I never tire of this view its just amazing, beautiful an that. I love this corner too.' He looked around. 'What makes this corner so special? Isn't it the same as that one across the park. 'Nah this is the one where Anne Elliot finds Captain Wentworth and tells him she will marry him.' He'd smiled and replied. 'Is that so, are there a lot of proposals here then?' She gazed around before meeting his eyes. 'I dunno to be honest but its dead romantic she's running all around Bath looking for him after he wrote her a letter.'_

 _'_ _Molly?'_

 _'_ _Yeah' He squeezed her hand as he began to speak. 'I had a whole evening planned and I wanted this to be special but I've realised in the space of a few seconds that we are standing in the exact right spot for me to tell you something.' He'd pulled her towards him and with one hand tipped her face up so he could look into her puzzled eyes. 'We are going to have days when nothing goes right and we will bicker and argue and slam doors but then we will have days when we laugh and we're brilliant and the world aligns with us.' Her face broke into a smile.' How much have you drunk tonight?' He'd smiled and brushed his lips gently over hers. 'I'm telling you something shhhh.'_

 _'_ _Right whats that then?'_

 _His eyes looked down into hers he was almost dizzy with the mesmerising green eyes focused on him. 'I want you to be the last thing I see.' His face was serious as he held her gaze and her smile disappeared as she replied. 'Ditto.' Time stood still for a few seconds and neither of them had moved or broken eye contact. He'd kissed her softly his hand reaching into his pocket to pull out the box; as he pulled back from her he slowly lowered onto one knee and held the box up. 'So marry me Molly Dawes.'_

 _Her face lit up as she reached for the box and opened it seeing the ring inside. 'Oh my God Charles are you serious?' 'Well I think so but maybe I should hold on to it and wait for another day when you're not in a bad mood.' He went to retrieve the box from her. 'No way mate you've asked me now put it on me.' He'd stood up and pulled the ring from the box sliding it onto her finger. It fitted perfectly (he'd given a sigh of relief thanking his mother for her crafty ring measuring) and she'd held her hand up under the street lamp to admire it. Her arms wound around his neck and she stood on tiptoe to reach up and kiss him. 'I do love you.' His smile against her lips as she spoke broke into a laugh. 'I love you too Molly I feel complete with you even if you ruined my romantic proposal.' Her fingers wove their way through his hair. 'Oh I think you did pretty good.' As they pulled back from their kiss she looked towards no.20._

 _'_ _Lets tell your parents the lights are on they're still up.' She linked her arm with his and walked quickly towards the house her left hand outstretched as she continued to look at the ring. 'Its a beautiful ring I just love it.' He'd stopped at the door looking down at her. 'It was my grandmothers she told me to give it to the love of my life and so its yours forever Molly.' The tears had rolled down her cheeks as he finished speaking. 'Oh boy you do know how to get the waterworks going don't ya?' Kissing her quickly he'd pushed open the door calling for his parents as they walked in. They'd appeared at the top of the stairs looking down at the two of them smiles hovering on their faces._

 _She'd run up the stairs towards them shouting.' We're engaged! We're engaged.' She'd called her parents and shouted down the phone. 'We're engaged.' She'd called her friends repeating the same line. By the time she came back to them they had the champagne open and glasses filled ready for a toast.'_

 _Daphne had insisted on making the toast and despite her tearing up managed to say a few words. Then John stepped in a grin on his face as he looked first at his wife and then at them. 'Molly we are blessed you said yes because if you'd said no I don't know what he would have done.'_

 _'_ _Thanks Dad great speech remind me not to invite you to the wedding.' Charles shook his head as he chinked glasses with his father. John reached over and ruffled his hair. 'Okay scamp.' Laughing as Charles shrugged him away._

 _'_ _Right my turn I'm the bride to be I need to speak.' With the three James staring at her she began. 'I'm engaged!' Her giggles started and she couldn't stop. 'I'm really engaged.' Charles looked at her and then at his parents. 'I'd better say something as you've all had a go.' He walked away from them and switched on the stereo. 'Hang on I need a bit of help.' The words of Elton John filling the room with_ Don't go breaking my heart. _He put his glass down coming towards Molly singing, arms outstretched as he reached for her and swung her into his arms. John and Daphne followed suit and the four of them danced and sang as Elton belted out from the stereo._

 _As Molly fell asleep later that night Charles whispered into her ear. 'Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours.' She'd smiled and reached for his hand kissing it as she wrapped his arm around her. 'Ahhh one of your love letters copied I believe from Mr Beethoven.'_

' _Indeed he knew I'd need help one day. He came through it did the trick eh?' Giggling she'd pulled his head towards hers, her lips pressing against his as she spoke. 'Oh I think you do okay on your own.'_

 _xox_

 ** _Mr Big: Would you want to get married?_**

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw: Well, I didn't, didn't think that was an option._**

 ** _Mr Big: What if it was an option?_**

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw: Why? What? Do you want to get married?_**

 ** _Mr Big: I wouldn't mind being married to you. Would you mind being married to me?_**

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw: No, no, not, not if that's what you wanted. I mean, is, is that what you want?_**

 ** _Mr Big: I want you. So, ok._**

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw: So really, we're, we're getting married?_**

 ** _Mr Big: We're getting married. Should we get you a diamond?_**

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw: No. No. Just get me a really big closet._**

 _xox_

 ** _Apologies for the very long chapter…_**

 ** _Thanks as always for your lovely comments and feedback._**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Theres a brief moment when you first wake up, where you have no memories: a blissful blank state, a happy emptiness. Carrie Bradshaw_**

Molly rolled over in the bed feeling the pain immediately in her temples so stopped moving. 'Oh no.' She opened an eye and tried to focus on the table to the left of her she could vaguely make out empty bottles. Throwing her arm over her face to shield her from the sunlight streaming through the windows she gave a groan as she tried to sit up. 'Silly cow should've closed the blinds.' Talking to herself did not help and drinking alone in a hotel room the previous night definitely did not help.

Groggy with sleep and a raging hangover she staggered to the bathroom kicking miniature bottles out of her path and promptly throwing up as she neared the basin. She sank down onto the cool marble floor resting her head against the wall tiles. Thank God it was Saturday she thought there was no way she'd be able to do anything in this state. She sat for a few minutes unable to move, eyes closed taking deep gulps of air to steady herself all with the intent of preventing another opportunity for her body to decide to throw up again. Finally feeling somewhat stable she pulled herself up and threw cold water on her face. She brushed her teeth, took some painkillers and drank a bottle of water before heading back to bed pulling the duvet over her as she sank gratefully into a dreamless sleep.

xox

 ** _Water is the most important element in life….because without it you cant make coffee._**

xox

Charles jogged slowly back to the hotel, it was warm and he felt the beads of sweat across his forehead, his teeshirt sticking to his back in the heat of the morning. September in New York was a great time to visit the concierge had told him as he'd left this morning. His leg was not aching which had made him do an extra mile now with the sun beating down on him he kind of regretted it. He'd woken at 6.00 am and unable to go back to sleep had taken to the streets of Manhattan pounding the sidewalks as he ran. He'd felt free as he ran no one to judge him, no one to corner him and ask what was he doing about Molly. Today he was going to do things his way at his pace.

His first disappointment of the trip was that she was not in the hotel in Murray Hill he'd run that route having mapped out the best way to get there; leaving crushed when the front desk had advised him no one of that name was in residence. His plan A hit the deck and he'd kept running to clear his head and work on plan B. There was no plan B he realised as he'd thought she would definitely be there.

Arriving back at the hotel he did some stretching exercises before walking into the lobby. He had her office address and so that was a start although on a weekend maybe no one would be working it was a chance he had to take. As he stood waiting for the elevator his attention was caught by a woman standing close to the bank of elevators. She was tall, blonde in her 40's possibly 50's, american, she was walking towards him and definitely going to talk to him. 'Hi, are you with Storm?' He looked around? 'Sorry who is Storm?'

'Oh an English one I love your accent which agency are you with honey?' He grinned at her. 'I'm not with an agency I'm just here visiting my girlfriend.' She nodded. 'So you're not a model? He laughed somewhat embarrassed and shook his head. 'No I am definitely not I own a restaurant in London I don't model.' She reached into her bag pulling out a card and held it out to him. 'You are wasted hun, you could make a lot of money walking the runway. You're tall, good hair and teeth and a killer ass. Oh don't look embarrassed it's my job to notice these things I saw you leave earlier I don't miss much.' He felt himself blushing at the direct comments coming his way. 'Indeed you are very direct and I appreciate the compliments but I'm just a normal guy.' She gave a rueful smile shaking her head, her hand still outstretched. 'Take the card just in case you change your mind or your girlfriend changes hers.' The elevator doors slid open and he reached for the card reading it as he stepped in. 'I hope she doesn't Candice but if she does I'll be in touch.' He gave a wink as the doors closed and leaned against the mirrored wall laughing to himself. Molly would crack up when he told her this. He pulled himself up and realised the distraction in the lobby was not helping his cause he didn't even know if Molly would talk to him let alone listen to his run in with 'Candice'. He needed a shower, coffee, lots of coffee and maybe a nap (damn jet lag)…..

xox

 ** _Here lies carrie she had two loves and lots of shoes. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

She pushed her hair out of her face as she squinted at the clock it was nearly midday sitting up slowly she rubbed her eyes and leaned back on the pillows. Her headache was still there her mouth was dry she needed tea. Sometimes the only thing that would get you through a day like this would be a good old cup of tea. But there was a catch the room was spinning ever so slightly and worrying that she might need to throw up again she took the safe option and called room service. Ordering tea and some sort of breakfast plate.

After the tea was drunk and the food picked at a shower seemed a good idea. She needed to focus and there was work to do copy to be sent in she'd need a clear head to get everything done and venturing out seemed a good idea. She needed some fresh air and she couldn't stay cooped up in her suite all weekend. She stood outside debating which way to go and settled on turning left towards Park Avenue a good walk would clear her foggy, bedraggled head. Whilst out she would get a slice of pizza to soak up the alcohol and then maybe just maybe she could finish her piece for Enid. Thinking of Enid and her deadline sent a shudder though her, she definitely needed to clear her head and get in the zone. Nothing but perfection would do for the boss.

xox

 ** _The odds of bumping into someone who broke your heart are incredibly high. The odds of bumping into him when you look like shit are even higher. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

He'd fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow waking up just before midday. An hour later showered and feeling rested he entered the elevator. Leaning back against the wall of it as it sped down to the lobby. As he exited a whiff of lemons hit his nose and he looked around him; Molly was the only person he'd ever known who smelt like this. He stopped and his eyes focused on the lobby. He felt his heart race as he scanned the lobby area she wasn't there he picked up the pace and walked into the bar his eyes flickering around the room; nothing. Running his fingers through his hair he felt the frustration wash over him she wasn't in this hotel he was imagining things now. He ruffled his hair and headed for the street dropping his gaze there was no way he wanted to run into his new friend Candice again. He stood outside and pulled his sunglasses on, it was hot and he was glad he'd packed some shorts. He looked down at the directions in his hand and gave a quick glance to his left watching the city walkers bustling past him; he turned right and headed for the offices of her newspaper.

xox

 ** _After all computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breathe and reboot._**

 _xox_

If there was one thing to do on a day like this it was to walk. New Yorkers walked everywhere and she loved that vibrancy about the city. She loved the fact you could turn a corner and find some amazing piece of architecture, a piece of street art, a sculpture she stopped and realised she had ended up in Bryant Park. Her most favourite place to sit was by the fountain and she walked quickly stopping at a vendor to get a soft drink and a pretzel (pizza later she thought). She sat at a table under a big umbrella and took off her sunglasses marvelling at the simplicity and beauty of it. She'd been drawn to it the first time she'd walked in the park and as she sat there, she remembered the day she'd dragged Charles to see it…

xox

 ** _Its hard to find people who will love you no matter what. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

 _'_ _So this is my favourite fountain in New York.' She'd looked up as she finished speaking watching his face as he'd looked down at her. 'Its kinda small for New York.' He'd laughed as she poked her tongue out at him._

 _'_ _That my friend is why its so bleeding perfect. Come over here.' She'd pulled him along to some tables and chairs dropping quickly into the available chair; out of the sunshine as the big umbrella shielded them from the midday sun.'_

 _'_ _I love it here.' She pointed ahead. 'Thats the library over there I know you wont be interested in looking at a load of old books an that but you can appreciate this eh?' She'd smiled hoping he would see what she saw. His hand had reached across the table and he'd leaned down to kiss it. 'If you love it I love it Molly.' His eyes softened as they held her gaze and his fingers laced through hers as they smiled at each other._

 _'_ _Good now buy me a pretzel I might faint or something.' Laughing he'd stood up walking over to the vendor and coming back laden with drinks and food. 'Anyone would think you're not eating Molly.' Her lips had curved upwards and her eyes had flicked over him before reaching his. 'Oh I need to keep my strength up Charles James.' He'd pulled her into his arms right then kissing her with such passion it had prompted cheers and cries of 'get a room' from the crowds of people around. He'd released her reluctantly pushing her gently back into her chair; her cheeks were flushed, her breathing shallow, he'd gazed across the table innocently as he bit into a pretzel. 'Eat up Dawesy don't want you passing out now do I?'_

xox

 ** _When I first moved to New York and I was totally broke, sometimes I would buy Vogue instead of dinner. I felt it fed me more. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

A soft smile hovered on her lips as she thought back to that time how happy they'd been, how life had seemed so perfect, she looked down at her bare left hand. Why was everything so complicated? Why had he not listened to her that day in her flat? Why hadn't he called her? And what did she do now alone again? Did she stay in New York? Did she go home?

The empty table next to her had a copy of the _New York Post_ abandoned by it's previous reader. She reached across and picked it up opening it to scan the pages for any fashion week items. Holding it up to block the sun now shining into her eyes. She didn't see the tall man walking through the park coming to stand and stop in front of the fountain. She didn't see him scan the tables quickly as he looked around. She didn't see his shoulders slump and his face drop as he turned slowly and walked towards the exit his hands running through already ruffled unruly hair.

She read the paper cover to cover marvelling at how time had flown by. Her watch said it was nearly 5 pm. She couldn't believe she'd been sitting here so long and stretched in the chair; her stomach rumbled and she decided to head back to the hotel walking along 6th Avenue in the evening sunshine. She walked slowly with no real purpose dreading getting back there knowing she'd have to start working when she reached her suite.

Head down as she entered the hotel hoping most people would've left by now. 'Molly oooh Molly darling.'

'Shit, fuck, bollocks Candice.' She raised her head and threw a big smile towards the woman making a beeline for her. 'Molly honey I've been trying to catch up with you all week. You haven't been avoiding me have you?' Candice all blonde hair and big teeth gazed down at Molly her eyes searching the green ones staring up at her. 'Don't be silly you know what deadlines are like and this week has been crazy.' Candice linked arms with Molly and began steering her towards the bar. 'Lets get a drink honey I want to hear all your news and then I'm going to tell you about the hottie I spied this morning. Oh my ovary explosion when I saw him all hot and sweaty after his run.'

Molly shook her head trying to disengage her mind from Candice's nonsense as she prattled on. Entering the bar she saw people she knew start diving for cover. Candice was famous in New York but for all the wrong reasons. She ran her own modelling agency she'd discovered more super models than anyone else out here but she was a bitch in business. You didn't want to cross her so Molly knew she'd need to have the obligatory drink before she could escape.

'So I said to him honey you should be a model and you know what he said to me?' Molly shook her head her eyes wandering the room as she tried to remain interested in the story of a random man Candice wanted to get her claws into. 'He said, well no hold on let me tell you about how he sounded English like you Molly. Well not quite like you educated, cultured ya know.' Molly smirked there was an insult in there somewhere but she let it go and nodded the smile still plastered on her face. 'So the elevator doors open but before they close he leans towards me and says. 'You are some sexy woman Candice.' Molly raised an eyebrow as Candice carried on speaking. 'Oh yeah he saw it my sexuality hit him full force I fully expect to get a call tonight. A booty call Molly.'

Molly gave a weary sigh as Candice continued speaking about the guy she'd met. Poor sod he was lucky he'd got away and he hadn't called her yet. Probably checked out already and left the country. She sniggered quietly as the thought filtered through her head. 'OMG shut the front door there he is. Hey you, hey handsome.' Candice jumped off the bar stool running towards the mystery man as Molly grinned talking to herself quietly.' _Run, run for the hills mate'._ She swung round on the barstool to watch Candice as she did her best to chat the poor bugger up. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw who it was. He looked over Candice's head locking eyes with her. He didn't move but neither did she as she sat there staring at him.

He was here.

xox

 ** _Modern women need a cheat sheet to remind us romance isn't dead. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

He'd made his way in the sunshine to her office block but as he'd thought no one was working and the security team had told him to come back Monday morning and make an appointment. He'd wandered around the city the sun warming him and tried to think of the places she would go to. Thats how he'd ended up in Bryant Park standing in front of a fountain she brought him to once. He'd stared hard at everyone around him couples, families enjoying the sunshine and being together. He was alone and he was searching for someone and he just didn't think he was going to find her. He felt his body sag as the realisation that his search for her could come up with nothing and this trip would achieve nothing. She could have left New York for all he knew. He left the park pulling the piece of paper out of his pocket stopped and rung the mobile number it went straight to voicemail. 'Molly its me 'erm its Charles. I'm in New York staying at the Four Seasons. I've come to find you to talk to you please call me back same number as always. Erm thanks and its Charles, Charles James.' He hung up. 'Its Charles James what are you like fucking 12?' He shook his head in frustration knowing his message made him sound like an idiot. His hair took the brunt of his anger and disappointment as he walked quickly towards the hotel. Frustration echoed in every footstep as he took long strides to get to his suite.

He'd been lying across the bed flicking through the TV channels when he'd decided to go and get a drink. The mini bar had nothing appealing and he needed to get out. He'd realised as soon as he stepped foot into the bar it was a mistake when Candice the woman from this morning had spotted him. Running towards him as he stood transfixed gazing over her head because sat at the bar staring back at him was Molly. She'd been here all along and the scent of lemons in the elevator had been her. He smiled with relief at seeing her she didn't return the smile but she didn't turn away so that was a start. He took a breath and walked towards her…..

xox

 ** _We all judge. Thats our hobby. Some people do arts and crafts we judge. Stanford Blatch_**

xox

'I've been looking all over Manhattan for you and you were here all along.' He smiled softly at her watching her fingers toy with the glass in her hand. Candice arrived by his side her voice breathless as she struggled back onto her stool. 'Molly you know this guy?' She nodded. 'Yes this is Charles James he is…'

'Candice when I said I was here to meet my girlfriend well this is who it is and you know her what a small world.' His confidence at defusing awkward situations kicked in and he gave her a dazzling smile as he watched Candice deflate in front of him her eyes clouding over; she looked from one to the other. 'Right, great well I'm off people to see, deals to be done ya know.' She knocked back her martini in one and reached into her bag for some dollar bills throwing a fifty onto the counter. 'My shout Molly lets do lunch one day.' She flung Charles a sad look and wafted past them breezing out of the bar quickly.

He took the vacant seat and looked at Molly her head was down anything to avoid looking at him. The bartender arrived in front of them and he ordered an apple martini noting the smile that hovered on her lips as she heard. The cocktail arrived swiftly and he took a long drink. 'Hmmmm thats good I needed it I've had a helluva day.'

She finally allowed herself to look up and her quizzical eyes focused on him. 'Why are you here Charles? Why are you telling people I'm your girlfriend when you've made it pretty clear that is not what you want.' He allowed himself to sit and stare she was here this was fixable he knew she still loved him. It was there in her eyes the softness as she watched him despite the shock, despite her words. 'I came to find you Molly I've been a fool and if you'll let me I want to say sorry and make it up to you.'

'Huh make it up to me nice. How do you make up for walking out of my flat the other week and not bothering to call me. I was honest with you I let you back in and you, you just left me.' He downed the remainder of his drink and looked around him the bar was filling up. 'Molly maybe that came out wrong but you left me too. This is no place to be having this conversation.' She nodded in agreement. 'Look we can go to my room order some dinner and talk with no interruption.'

'Are you staying here?' He nodded. 'And yet we've not bumped into each other before.' He touched her arm. 'Its fate Molly.' He watched for a reaction and saw her lips curve into a smile before she shook it off. 'Okay I'll come to your room but no funny stuff okay?' He leaned back the relief evident as he grinned back at her. 'Scouts honour Molly.' She jumped off the stool and stood waiting for him. 'You got thrown out of the scouts you muppet.' He threw his head back and laughed it felt good to laugh even if she was looking at him like he was deranged. He dropped some money on the bar and reached for her hand. They walked out towards the elevators and he glanced quickly at her she hadn't shrugged off his hand but she hadn't clasped his back he didn't care he was near to her that was all that mattered.

He pressed the floor number. '39?' He turned as she spoke. 'I'm on that floor are we on the same floor? This is way beyond fate.' She pulled her hand away and moved away from him. Her eyes confused as she stared at him from the other side of the elevator. 'Did you follow me here? Who told you I was in New York?' He leaned against the wall crossing his arms as he watched her. 'I met the girls last week they told me I was a fuckwit, a cockwomble you name it they said it and then they shoved a piece of paper across the table with your office address and US mobile number. This was the only hotel I could get a booking and I thought you'd be in Murray Hill.' He stopped and watched her as she struggled to absorb what he'd said. He saw a flicker of emotion cross her face obviously thinking of her friends and feeling betrayed that they'd helped him. He didn't want to upset her further so said no more stepping out of the lift ahead of her and walking towards his suite. She stopped outside the door and looked down the corridor pointing to another door. 'Thats me over there.' He smiled as he spoke. 'Well at least you don't need to worry about getting home okay.' She shrugged and walked into the suite ahead of him. He closed the door he'd got her here but this was not going to be easy. He walked over to the window and picked up the room service menu from the window ledge. 'What do you fancy?'

'Huh what?' Her head flicked around towards him as he waved the menu. 'To eat what do you fancy eating. Do you want me to choose for you?' She shook her head. 'No.' She took the menu from him and sat on the edge of the sofa. He opened the minibar reaching for the wine bottle and pouring a glass for her. He walked over and handed it to her as she sat, still staring at the menu. 'Have you decided?' She nodded. 'I'll have the burger nothing much appeals to me.' He called the order through and sat down opposite her. 'So shall I talk first?' She sat back on the sofa kicking off her shoes and curling her legs under her. 'Be my guest seems only right when you've flown out to talk to me.'

He took a gulp of the wine and noticed his hand shaking as he lowered it. A fact that did not escape her and she watched in amazement as he placed it onto the coffee table separating them. He stood up and began pacing talking as he walked. 'I was so angry that night I left you and I went straight to Bath. I had it out with Rebecca and well lets say it wasn't pretty but I know everything.' He looked over his shoulder she nodded and he carried on. 'So I knew I'd behaved appallingly to you but for some reason right then all I could think about was me so I went to my parents and got drunk and pretty much drunk their wine collection over the next few days. They got back from Italy and well they were pretty mad at me. Mum and Dad adore you Molly you know that. So once they'd told me how ashamed of me they were they packed me off back to London. But by the time I got back you'd left and come here. I didn't know what to do and luckily Becky answered the phone in your flat when I was leaving a message last week.'

'You rang me?' She sat up as she finished speaking. 'Charles why didn't you call me the next day once you'd spoken to Rebecca and knew the full story.' He sat beside her his fingers rolled gently down her cheek catching the tears that were falling. 'I don't know pride, anger, ego. I've been a fool I'm so sorry Molly all I ever wanted was to make you happy and I fucked up.'

'You really hurt me.' Her face couldn't hide the hurt, the pain and the tears kept falling.

'All I want is to make you happy thats why I'm here.' His eyes, his face said it all. He was hoping for forgiveness in some small way.

'Well, you fucked up big time.'

'I know that tell me what I can do to make it right Molly. Help me, help us I want to fix this I want you back in my life. If the last few weeks have taught me anything its that I don't function very well without you.'

She stood and went to the window gazing out at the city landscape in front of her. 'Remember on that bridge Molly you told me not to die not to leave you.' She turned and leaned against the ledge wiping away the tears that continued to fall. Nodding as she spoke. 'Worst day of my life not knowing if you'd make it, no information not being able to tell anyone why I was behaving like a crazy person.'

He came towards her pulling her into his arms. 'So shouldn't we try don't we owe it to Private Dawes and her moody CO to give this another shot. They didn't give up they fought for what they wanted that day. We'd be letting them down if we walked away now.'

xox

 ** _Its me and you and you wanna hear the great news there? We've both already done everything we can to screw it up. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

There is something so comforting about being held in his arms. The familiarity, the way our bodies fit together.

My arms instinctively wind around his body and as they do he pulls me closer.

I am crying and he talks quietly soothing me as I sob.

He tells me he loves me, wants to marry me, begs me to say yes. He got my ring back from Rebecca he brought it to New York. My ring is somewhere in this room.

I sob for the wasted years why Rebecca would hate us being happy that she would do what she did.

I sob for the fact that I didn't believe in us.

I sob because I've missed him so much and so much of this is my fault.

I sob because I don't want this precious moment to end its just the two of us.

I sob because…..

Maybe its because its him that I always feel safe when I'm close to him. But this, us, it's the real deal I know that now.

Maybe its because I can hear his heart pounding reassuring me. We made it through Afghan and this and we've come out the other side.

Maybe its because despite everything I do love him, don't think I ever stopped and whilst he is without doubt the biggest prannet going he is my prannet.

Maybe we need to forget about the past and look to the future. Our future.

Maybe just maybe this is meant to be.

I look up and whilst I know I look a state with my tear stained face and red cheeks he looks at me as though I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. His smile is tender his eyes shine with love as they focus on mine.

'It took us a really long time to get here but you're the one Charles.' My eyes flutter and close as his lips possess mine and I really hope the room service doesn't come yet…..

xox

 ** _Maybe there are no right moments, right guys, right answers. Maybe sometimes you just have to say whats in your heart._**

xox

Thanx so much for your patience. Bit of RL in the way of ff writing (sorry H!) as always thank you so much for your comments and feedback.


	9. Chapter 9

**_No matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to heal. You'll never get through it without your friends._**

 ** _Monday_**

The cab door was slammed hard as Kate stepped back and shrugged her shoulders giving the finger to the driver as he tore off into the afternoon traffic. 'You fucking arsehole.' Jackie pulled her by the arm encouraging her to step onto the kerb and avoid being mown down by any further angry drivers.

She swung to face the others her face red with anger as she went to speak. 'Welcome to fucking New York.'

xox

 ** _So just love, make mistakes and have wonderful times. But never second guess who you are where you've been and more importantly where it is you are going. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

 ** _24 hours earlier_**

She closed her laptop, sat back and let her fingers knead her stiff neck; she took a deep breath and smiled. Done.

Enid would be happy it was a strong and thorough review of the week and she was pleased with what she had captured. Looking out the window she could see the sun going down and looked at her watch nearly 7pm. Had he stayed away the whole day from her? How was that possible?

Five minutes later, she had splashed her face with cold water and was knocking on his door. It was surreal to think they were across the corridor from each other not that she had slept in her room last night but today she'd had to work saying Enid would sack her if she didn't get her fashion week review completed. She'd tried to get up early wanting to crack on but he'd pulled her back to bed and it was several hours later when she had finally said she had to go. And now here she was waiting for him. A glance at her left hand as her engagement ring glinted up at her, how had her life changed for the better in 24 hours.

The door suddenly opened and an arm shot out and grabbed her pulling her quickly inside. She found herself on the sofa underneath Charles as he moved quickly on top of her pinning her down. His lips covering hers as his hands found their way underneath her teeshirt caressing her skin.

'Hi missed me?' Her voice was husky and as he pulled back his face blurred she tried to focus; despite her body feeling on fire with the hands continuing to caress and explore. 'I've missed you all my life let alone today Molly Dawes.' She smiled looking up into his soft brown eyes. 'My work here is done sent everything off to Enid so I'm all yours.'

He sat up pulling her with him his arms wrapped around her body. 'Music to my ears. Now do we stay here or do we go eat?' She felt conflicted as his fingers gently ran over her stomach tantalising her skin with every touch. She had missed those hands the way her body would react with one touch. But, if they stayed in then they'd be naked in a few seconds, the decision was taken away from her as her stomach rumbled nosily and he raised an eyebrow. 'So we go eat.' He untangled himself from her and stood up reaching down to pull her up. 'You want to change? You don't have to we can eat in the hotel if you're tired.'

She looked down at her jeans and teeshirt. 'You know I would love to grab a shower and change my face. Give me thirty minutes and I'll meet you downstairs in the bar. I need some fresh air I haven't left this floor today.' She stood on tiptoes to kiss him her tongue lingering on his lips before she deepened the kiss. She heard him groan as his hands grabbed her waist pushing her away. 'Oh god Molly go, go now or else.' She skipped towards the door giggling as she saw his face. 'Oh boy you look all stern face Charles. Put it away.' His face broke into a smile as she walked out letting the door close behind her.

xox

 ** _The fact is, sometimes it's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

He'd been busy all day it had worked in his favour that she needed to get her fashion week piece done. It had given him time to plan something special and he'd realised quickly there was only one person who could help him.

'Hello Candice. It's Charles James Molly's fiancee we met yesterday. You gave me your card and I wondered if I could buy you lunch today?'

He sauntered back through the streets on a sunny Sunday feeling very satisfied with himself. Candice was lonely and delighted to have him take her for lunch. He'd noticed heads turn as they walked through the restaurant. People whispering as they saw her she really was the Queen of New York. Everyone seemed to know her and he got a lot of stares as people obviously gossiped and speculated on who he might be.

Several hours and two bottles of champagne later a plan had been formulated. He'd spoken to everyone in England and flights were being booked. He just had to keep Molly busy on Monday and Candice; well Candice was currently talking to designers in the city to find a dress for Molly as well as arrange the venue for a wedding breakfast. She'd invited herself but he didn't mind right now he was so happy and Molly was going to love Tuesday.

Dinner and drinks with the love of his life topped off his day and he fell into bed wrapping himself around Molly. At dinner he'd complained of the time lost and how he should make Rebecca pay for this. A gentle hand stroking his had refocused him and he looked across the table losing himself in her green eyes as she told him _move on, forget it, she's not important, its us two now._

 _xox_

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw: He's my boyfriend._**

 ** _Mr. Big: Aren't I a little old to be introduced as your boyfriend?_**

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw: Point taken. From now on you'll be my man-friend._**

 ** _Mr. Big: That sounds like a dog._**

 ** _Carrie Bradshaw: Well if the shoe fits._**

xox

 **Monday**

Molly uncurled herself as she woke and stretched in the bed, she was alone but music was playing in the other room and she could hear him singing. Padding quietly to the door she leaned against the door frame watching him as he sat in front of his laptop his head swaying in time to the music.

 _Call it magic, call it true_

 _I call it magic when I'm with you_

 _And I just got broken, broken into two_

 _Still I call it magic, when I'm next to you_

 _And I don't, and I don't, and I don't, and I don't_

 _No I don't, it's true_

'Morning Chris Martin didn't realise it was karaoke hour out here.' He swung in the chair a smile curling his lips as he took in her sleepy appearance. She rubbed her eyes walking towards him her hair falling over her face as she hooked her arms around his neck. His lips pressed on her neck as he spoke. 'I don't know what it about a woman in a West Ham shirt but its hot and so many thoughts are running through my head right now.' She gave a throaty laugh as he pulled her onto his lap. 'Why Charles James you are insatiable anyone ever told you that?' He stood quickly swinging her body easily into his arms. 'Yeah Mansfield said it once but I don't think he understood the meaning.'

She laughed. 'Those boys; despite everything we had good times they were the best.' He nodded as he listened to her his eyes focused on her lips as she spoke. She carried on talking despite him standing and carrying her through to the bedroom. She giggled as he tripped over her shoes discarded as they'd fallen into bed the night before.

They fell onto the bed a mass of tangled limbs and hands reaching to remove the others clothes. 'I love you so much Molly.'

'Yeah you say it now you've got me naked in bed.' His lips quickly found hers his touch soft at first but then as his passion rose his lips became more demanding of her his tongue pushing, probing. She pushed him back slightly trying to catch her breath. 'Charles James nice boys don't kiss like that.' He smirked as his face lowered towards hers. 'Oh yes they fucking do.'

He woke with a start trying to look for his watch or a clock he had no idea of the time but it was still day as the sun was streaming in through the windows. Molly was asleep her head on his chest, an arm flung over him as she snored quietly. Her engagement ring shone brightly in the sunny room and his heart tugged as he felt an overwhelming sense of relief she was back in his life. He wanted to let it go with Rebecca God knows it wouldn't make for a great relationship with Sam in the middle. But, they'd lost out on so much they could have had their own family by now. A muffled voice alerted him to Molly being awake. 'Molls cant understand a word when you speak into my chest.' She lifted her head slightly and spoke quietly. 'Let it go she is not worth it.' He sat up quickly causing her to fall off his body and she rolled onto her back watching him from hooded eyes. He scanned her face. 'Did I speak aloud?' She shook her head her hands pushing her hair away as she moved up the bed and flopped back against the pillows. 'Nah but I know that sound you make when you are thinking about her and I'm telling you for the last time just let it go. For me, for us.'

His arms reached out pulling her close. 'When did you get so fucking brilliant Molly Dawes.' She giggled as she snuggled into his arms. 'Oh somewhere between Bastion and New York.' He heard her yawn as she drifted off to sleep again and he gave a slight smile he'd been told to keep her busy Monday so he was doing that. Once he heard her breathing steady he slowly slid away from her and out of the bed, reaching for his jeans that were in a haphazard heap on the floor. Closing the bedroom door behind him he walked across the sitting room and switched on the coffee machine. A few minutes later sitting back at the desk reading through the messages on his phone and emails on his laptop.

 _Hi Charles._

 _We're here and safely ensconced in the hotel thanks it's a lovely suite._

 _But couldn't you have put Kate in a hotel down the road?_

 _LOL! Whats the plan?_

 _Becky and Jackie_

 _xox_

 _Hello dear_

 _We're in the hotel Sam is demanding to go to the Empire State Building with Dad. Are we okay to go out? I don't want to bump into you two._

 _This is so exciting and I'm so happy this is happening._

 _I'll tell you about Rebecca another time but suffice to say she didn't hand him over easily._

 _Whats happening about a dress? Does M have one should I go shopping? Call me when its safe its like being a spy all this covert stuff._

 _Mum x_

 _xox_

 _Charles just seen the email._

 _Are you mad? Marriage again? Ive got it all covered here take as much time as you need mate. Seriously though good luck and post something on Facebook so I can make some inappropriate comment. BTW I've met someone she's a knockout._

 _Tom_

 _ps. Ive organised something._

 _pps. Don't worry its good_

 _xox_

 _Bossman - We was gonna send Mansfield out but he couldn't get the esta sorted so we wanna do something when ye's get back. You and Molly finally doing it. Fucking-A._

 _xox_

 _Charlie_

 _Hopefully you will take lots of pics for us. Maybe you can get married again so I can come (hint hint). Its all a bit shit I'm not there but no passport, no travel! It was well nice of you to offer to fly us all out and Dave did try to get a passport but no cando on a Sunday. Lucky escape id say._

 _Im well proud of you love. Say hello to my girl._

 _Belinda_

 _ps Dave says hello and we'll raise a can to you both tomorrow._

 _xox_

 _Charles_

 _Call me._

 _Candice._

 _xox_

He felt bad leaving to meet Candice. Molly was still asleep but he had been summoned and you didn't say no to her. He left a hastily scribbled note to say he had gone for a run should she wake up.

'Charles darling we have to have the tables here otherwise we miss the sunlight, don't you see?' He squinted into the sunlight as Candice pushed him forward. She was good there was no doubt about that, what she had arranged was nothing short of a miracle and he knew he'd never have been able to pull it off without her. But, she was annoying him with her bossiness. A head shake indicating he should follow her as she moved on. He was delighted to finally see his parents and Sam arrive; he walked quickly to meet them hugging all three before Sam clambered onto his back for a piggy back. 'Scamp you are getting way too heavy for these.' Arms gripped his neck as they turned to walk back towards Candice. Quick introductions before she dismissed them saying she'd be in touch.

'Who is she?' His mother wrinkled her nose as she spoke. 'She is the most powerful woman in New York so say nothing just smile and wave.' He stopped walking and dropped Sam to the ground. 'Enough Sam my old back cant take much more.' 'Daaaad please.' He shook his head. 'Come on lets get ice cream, you can tell me all about the Empire State and I'll tell you the plan.'

'Charles is that you?' He shut the door quietly behind him as he entered the suite. 'I hope so or else one of us is in the wrong room.' He walked into the bedroom, bed made and the room tidy. Room serve had obviously been in. He found her ensconced in a bubble filled bath. 'Funny running gear.' He looked down at his jeans and teeshirt. 'Oh yeah changed my mind decided to walk instead.' She gave him a disbelieving look. 'You mate are up to something.' What is it?' He stepped back his hands digging deep into his pockets as he looked down at the tiled floor. He heard her splutter and looked up. 'Right now I know you're up to something you've got a guilty look on your face.'

He smiled and looked up as he began speaking. 'I have kinda been arranging for us to do something tomorrow.' He watched her face for a reaction but she said nothing staring blankly at him. He carried on speaking. 'So I wasn't going to tell you but apparently I need your signature on something before I can go ahead.'

'Right have you sold my liver or something?' She gazed at him willing him to speak. He crouched down by the bath his fingers trailing in the water and bubbles. His face close to hers as he spoke. 'I've booked us a wedding tomorrow you in?' He searched her face as she lay there not moving the shock evident. 'So you haven't sold my liver then?' He shook his head and giggled softly. 'No all internal organs remain intact Miss Dawes.' A small smile crept across her face as she looked up into his eyes. 'I might gonna need a dress.'

'I might already got one.' He replied smiling as her fingers wound in his curls pulling his lips towards hers.

Having to split into two chapter as FF won't accept full chapter...


	10. Chapter 10

xox

 ** _Oh kiss me you big cry baby. Carrie Bradshaw_**

xox

Molly had insisted on sleeping in her own suite that night and she woke when she heard the buzzer of the door.

She sleepily rolled out of bed pulled on a robe and cast a quick look at the clock 7.30am who would be ringing the buzzer at this time of day. She pulled open the door and saw no one but in front of her was a rack full of dresses. She heard a voice. 'Miss Dawes this delivery just arrived for you.' She took a step back as it was wheeled past her by the Concierge. Her face frozen as she counted the number of dresses hanging on it. 'There's also a note Miss Dawes.' She nodded slowly. 'Right cheers.' Numbly she took IT and walked towards the sofa sitting on the edge as she looked at the rail again. How did he arrange that? And so many. She opened the envelope and pulled out a card.

 _Molly_

 _A little bird told us that you have an event today._

 _So to make it that bit special please choose something on the rack._

 _Have a wonderful day and best of luck._

 _Your friends at Vogue._

'How the, what.' She stood and walked towards the rail her fingers quickly opening the covers on the first couple so she could touch the fabric. She pushed the rail into the bedroom and squealed as she caught sight of herself in the mirror. 'I'm getting married.' An hour later and she had found it. Pale gold with antique lace, vintage and it fitted her like a glove. The phone rang and she followed herself in the mirror as she walked towards it and answered.

'Hello.'

'Molly Dawes.' She dropped onto the bed in shock. 'Qaseem is that you?' She heard his soft laugh down the phone. 'It is my friend I wanted to wish you well for today. Captain James emailed me.' She smiled down the phone. 'Oh Qaseem its good to hear from you how is everything? Bashira?' She stopped talking and listened as he gave updates on their life. The girl saved by the British Army now living in safety with the man who had become her father. 'I cant believe you found me Qaseem.' 'Oh its quite easy to find Molly Dawes the esteemed writer from England. You are famous.'

'Ha I don't think so I've been very lucky an that.' She smiled at her reflection and stood to admire the dress. It felt different to the last time she'd had a wedding dress on could it only be a few weeks was this all happening too soon. 'Qaseem is it too much, too soon?' He was silent on the other end of the phone. 'Molly you love him and he loves you its simple just follow your heart.' She nodded chewing a nail as she listened. 'Yeah you're right of course. Whats wrong with me?' 'I think Molly you might say you are crapping yourself but its okay to feel like that.' She laughed out loud as he finished. 'Brilliant perfect Qaseem.' She heard the buzzer again. 'Oh bugger the door I've gotta go.' 'Of course Molly have a wonderful day you deserve great happiness.' Smiling again as she looked at her reflection. 'Thank you. I'd better go the buzzer ringer is getting angry now.' She rang off running to the door and pulling it open forgetting the dress for a moment. Two women stood outside with spa equipment.

'Miss Dawes?' She nodded. 'We are Ginny and Maria here to help you get ready.' She opened the door wider to allow them in and watched as they quickly moved through the suite into the bedroom setting up a massage bed and unpacking a trolley. She leaned against the door frame watching them. One of them turned to her and said. 'This is the dress?' She looked down in horror her hands rushing to her cheeks. 'Oh my God I forgot I had it on.' She looked from one to the other, they were smiling at her like she was mad but sane at the same time. 'I need to take it off because i'll spill something down it.' She quickly changed and walked back into the room.

By 11.00 she was preened to perfection. Her hair was up in a chignon with soft tendrils framing her face. The only contact she'd had from Charles was a card and small box containing a pair of earrings. The car was collecting her at 11.30 and she stood staring at her reflection wonderment as she gazed at the woman in front of her. She looked like a princess. Maria had run through the list saying she was very superstitious and that everything must be perfect. The something old would be her dress it was vintage after all. Her new were the earrings that dazzled in the morning sun. Her borrowed turned out to be the shoes that she wore and her blue was a small hair clip covered in blue crystals; Maria had pushed into her hair before saying. 'Now you are ready.'

She touched the card sitting in front of her again, re-reading the words he had written that morning.

My darling Molly,

Today is the start of something wonderful because today you become my wife. I've dreamed of this moment for so long and now here it is. I will see you there and you wont be able to miss me I'll be the prannet with the big cheesy grin watching you.

I love you and I will love you forever.

Your Charles.

ps These earrings are your something new.

A knock at the door which Ginny rushed to answer. 'Oh yes we are ready.' She turned and called out. 'Molly your car is out front.' Molly turned to Maria. 'Thank you for everything I didn't even think about my hair but you've made me feel like a princess.' Maria smiled and hugged her back. 'Enjoy your day Molly.' She quickly hugged Ginny and followed the Concierge towards the elevators.

xox

 ** _The bride wore a dress by no one. Anthony_**

xox

'You look very nice Miss Dawes. Mr James left a while ago he looked very smart in his suit.' She smiled and leaned against the wall of the elevator. Charles in a suit he always looked so good in one. Her eyes flickered downwards and she looked at her ring sparkling on her finger. 'Thank you I'm feeling a bit sick to be honest, nerves I guess.' Walking through the hotel lobby she caught several looks from people she was quite dressed up for a Tuesday morning. She saw someone duck out of view _was that Candice?_

She had thought they were going to City Hall and she knew she was overdressed for it but she didn't care. But, the car went in a different direction and slowed as it approached the library by Bryant Park. The chauffeur was out before she could speak and opening the door for her to exit. She leaned out about to speak when she caught sight of a familiar face. 'John?' John James stepped forward and proffered a hand to assist her out of the car. 'Molly you look beautiful.'

He kissed her cheek and tucked her arm in his as he stepped forward. She stopped. 'Hold on. What is going on? How did you get here and why are we going into the park?' John gently patted her hand. 'Lets go in and then you'll see its all good my dear.' She smiled back at him as he stepped forward and followed his lead to walk through the gates. Candice was running around to the side of her issuing instructions to people with headsets on. 'Am I getting married here?' Her question was said to no one in particular but she kept walking her heart beating quicker with every step. She could see huge swathes of voiles in the trees as they walked closer to the Fountain Terrace. Huge urns filled with flowers everywhere she looked and music softly playing somewhere to her right. Candice appeared at their side. 'Molly darling you look stunning. That dress is to die for I knew you'd pick that one.'

Molly still in shock stopped and stared at her. 'Candice did I see you at the hotel?' Candice nodded. 'Busted I tried to hide but I wanted to see which dress you were wearing.'

'You've organised this?' Candice nodded. 'Charles is quite persuasive when he wants something and he knew what he wanted. So enjoy it darling.' She planted a kiss on Molly's cheek and disappeared through the voile curtains.

The music changed and John squeezed her hand. 'You ready?' She nodded. 'I'm in shock to be honest this place. I cant believe he remembered and you cant just get married here the mayor or something has to approve it.' She smiled and then giggled. 'Candice could sell sand to the Saudi's she must've pulled in some favours. We'll have to name out first child after her.' John threw his head back laughing.

The curtain of voile was pulled back as they walked towards the terrace and she saw more familiar faces as she walked. The girls were all here Becky, Jackie and Kate who was being manhandled by a male model. She smiled and blew kisses stunned and amazed at seeing them. Becky was crying, Jackie was elbowing her in the ribs to get herself together and Kate was doing something with her hands to the model. Molly looked away quickly couldn't unsee that. Her smiles continued as she saw Daphne and Sam standing at the bottom of the steps. Daphne rushing forward to hug her. 'Oh my darling girl you are breathtaking. I'm so very happy for you both. Your Mum says to have a lovely day and she will talk to you later.' Molly nodded. 'You spoke to her?' Daphne smiled as she kissed her cheek. 'Of course darling us Mummy's stick together.' She stepped back as Sam launched himself at Molly. His arms wrapping around her as he leaned in. 'Missed you Molly.' Her free hand wrapped around him and she kissed the top of his head. 'I've missed you too Sammy. Where is your Dad then?' He stood back and pointed upwards. Molly looked up the steps to see Charles coming down them towards her. He looked so handsome as he stopped in front of her and John slowly released her and stepped away pulling Sam with him.

She looked up and it was just the two of them. His brown eyes emotive, teary as he gazed down at her a smile hovering on his lips. 'So Candice then?' He laughed softly and leaned down his lips brushing against her cheek. 'Don't leave me on my own with her she will want a different type of favour to repay this.' His lips found hers and he touched them gently. 'Did I do good?' She looked around at the small group watching them and took his hand raising it to her lips. 'You did good.'

He laughed softly and took her hand to lead her up the steps and as they neared the registrar he stopped and whispered in her ear. 'Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours.'

'Ditto.'

xox

 ** _You know that moment when he smiles at you, really smiles at you and your heart does a somersault, skips a beat._**

 ** _You find it hard to breathe and you know that you need to breathe but, nothing is working as it should because you're stuck in that moment….. But it's okay because its that moment when you realise; its just you and him and nothing else matters. Well, thats just a pretty perfect moment. Molly Dawes_**

xox

 ** _Apologies for the delay and thanks for the messages from people telling me to crack on. :0)_**


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